Velux
by serenakroes
Summary: "Kate shoved the note under his door carefully treating it as something precious and fragile. Sighing she got up. They were doomed right from the beginning. She exited his building and disappeared into the night. Away from him." Set S4 and is inspired by Misconception by chezchuckles and Friends with Benefits by AddisonSp. If you haven't read them they're wonderful and so talented
1. Chapter 1

I know, another season 4 fic :)

This is set during S 4 after the bomb case. C&B carried a FWB relationship throughout the season.

Kate was standing awkwardly in front of Castle's door, unsure about whether to knock or simply run away.

Latter would be the easy way out.

Who was she kidding? There was no easy way out.

She sighed heavily and kneaded her fingers over and over again until they were beginning to get sweaty and rubbed them dry on her jeans.

God, she was screwed.

She needed to knock.

Tell Castle.

The brunette made a list in her head.

First: calm down

Second: gather up courage to knock

Third: actually knock

Fourth: tell him

Fifth: wait for an answer

That was as far as she had come so far. If you could even call it far.

Pathetic, she told herself.

She is used to intimidate people on a daily basis but speaking to Castle, rather confessing, was more frightening than questioning a sleazy mob boss.

The Detective moved a step and took a final breath before she knocked on the door.

While she was knocking she changed her mind and her fist opened and it sounded as if she had slapped the door.

Shoot!

She quickly covered her mouth with her right hand in shock and stumbled backwards.

Apparently nobody had heard her. There was still no noise coming from inside the loft, no commotion.

Kate scrunched her nose, pinning it at the same time and sighed again.

God how did the situation just get this fucked up?

The Brunette took another deep breath and while breathing out, she moved her hands in front of her chest, following her breathing.

She calmed down slightly and decided to gather up her courage.

Once again.

Taking a step forward she finally knocked. Three times.

It took 30 seconds for the door to swing open and revealing an angry looking Castle at her. Worse, a blonde bimbo was standing behind him, claiming and holding his hand, showing off that she was with him.

Kate's heart clogged up. She wasn't prepared for this.

"Beckett."

He acknowledged. His tone was icy, cold and derogatory.

Looking her up and down he finally settled his gaze on her face.

Putting on a sarcastic face and with a reassuring handshake of the blonde behind him, he finally spoke.

"What do you want? I quit."

"Castle can we talk somewhere in private?"

She asked tentatively trying to stay calm.

He looked at her with a funny reproachful sarcastic expression.

His eyebrows shot up his forehead and he leaned intimidatingly towards her.

Kate took a step back unsure of the situation.

"You want to talk?"

He laughed.

"Beckett I don't want to talk, we're over. I will no longer bothering to follow you around like a love sick puppy. It's over. O-V-E-R. Get it: over!"

He took a step back and draped his arm across Jacinda's waist looking at Kate intensively.

Kate gasped.

He continued:

"You knew that I loved you and you just felt like you would have me running behind you to amuse you. Classy Beckett."

She got angry.

"Castle I never did that. "

He huffed.

"Of course."

And shared a glance with the blonde who broke out in laughter

Kate didn't know what to do. Her plan was falling apart.

"Castle, listen I didn't know how to deal with it, the love part."

He laughed.

"Yeah, as if. In one year you could not deal with it. Only taking from me the whole time and never giving anything back. That's over now Kate. Over."

Kate swallowed and looked at her feet.

"Ehm… "She stopped and shit her heart was breaking.

"Castle could we still please talk?"

She looked him in the eyes, trying to find something of the old Castle. The one she loved.

He huffed again

"That's your method now?"

He answered sarcastically.

"Why not just fuck it out like last time? I'd have to admit you were a good fuck."

Kate got angry.

"Thanks Castle, classy." Her voice boomed through the hallway, shaking with anger.

"If you don't ever want to talk to "the good fuck"… I'll guess it's settled then. "

He laughed again. He raised his finger and pointed at her while speaking.

"You telling me anything can't change anything Kate. We're over."

God he was such a moron.

She rubbed her palms in her hands.

Don't cry. She told herself over and over.

His voice cut her out of her zoning out.

"Finished?"

He barked impatiently

Kate nodded and he slammed the door into her face.

She was about to break down and panic began to flood over her.

The brunette tried to calm her breathing and sat down next to the elevator. Placing her left palm over her heart she attempted to lower her heartbeat. It worked.

She took out a wrinkled piece of paper, scrunched in her left pocked and smoothed it, yet the wrinkles didn't go completely away.

She looked at it again, the word that changed everything. Shattered her world to pieces.

Pregnant.

She was pregnant.

A blood test Lanie did confirmed it.

She was pregnant with Castle's child.

She closed her eyes, leaning her head against the wall.

Exhaling.

She needed to tell him. He had a right to know.

She ripped a piece from the test result and wrote down a message for him.

 _Castle I'm pregnant and it's yours._

 _Since we don't talk I decided to let you know this way. Beckett_

She bit down on her bottom lip, thinking. Was this really the right way to do it?

Nodding to herself she got up.

She shoved it under his door and left his building.

They were doomed right from the beginning, was the last thing she thought before exiting his building and disappearing into the night. Away from Richard Castle.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N

Hey people second chapter here :) thanks for your reviews i know that many say that Rick was OOC the last chapter i just wanted to branch out into the direction of a hurt and angry Rick. A little explanation about the backstory (it's the answer i sent one reviewer as well)

I hope you enjoy this chapter and leave me reviews they make my day :)

The thing is I want to branch out into a new direction with Castle. The backstory to the story is that Castle and Beckett had a f*** buddies relationship because both refused to confront their feelings properly and talk it out. The other thing is I personally think that Castle was really pissed, disappointed and angry with Kate after he found out that she lied to him all the time but new he loved her and still had the f*** buddies relationship with her. He's hurt pretty badly and I wanted to test out how angry he can become with her. It was only for this chapter but he will continue to be angry but it will diminish in the course of the story .

 **Chapter 2**

The air was chilly and as Kate exited Castle's building and she immediately drew her coat closer around her, it gave her a sense of security if there was much of it left. And it warmed her of course.

Slowly she dragged herself to her car, all the while thinking about how wrong her plan had went.

What had she expected? He had been pulling away for some time and now she knew the reason.

He knew she had lied.

He fucking knew.

God

Why did it have to come like this? She had been planning on telling him she loved him when she was better for him.

For them.

She'd been working so hard with Burke to express her feelings properly and once talk with Castle about the thing that they had going between them.

She exhaled again and felt tears prickle her eyes.

No!

She tilted her head upwards trying to stop the tears from falling but it didn't work. As soon as her head was in a normal position again they started flowing heavily down her cheeks.

She brushed them away with the back of her hand.

She didn't need to cry, she needed to be strong.

Because…. Because … now she was alone with the pregnancy.

God Dammit!

She thought to herself. She missed Castle, but his opinion about her was, as it seemed right now, irrevocably damaged. He thought she just used him.

As she kept thinking about it more and more she began thinking it was right.

She did use him but not like he portrayed it. He used her as well.

The Brunette sighed heavily again and bumped into her car.

Stumbling back she got her keys out of her pocket and got into her car.

As she started the engine and adjusted the mirror she could see Castle's loft again from the interior mirror and tears started to prickle her eyes again.

She brushed them away again.

God she must look horridly by now. Her makeup was smeared and she probably had a swollen nose and puffy red eyes from the crying.

She slapped her steering wheel.

She wasn't supposed to feel that way now. All depressed and sad. He had called her a "good fuck" as if they have never been anything more than this.

Sighing heavily she started driving and fixed her eyes on the street trying not to look into her interior mirror again and see the reflection of Castle's loft.

He was done with her and so was she. If she was just a "good fuck" to him she should give a fuck about him as well.

But…

But…

They couldn't be over. She still loved him under all her anger.

God she was fucked up.

How can you feel like this all at once?

The Brunette felt like she was ready to burst due to the amount of different feelings she currently felt.

Kate tightened her grip around her steering wheel so much that her knuckles blanched out.

She was angry.

So angry with Castle.

She had been working to get better, for the idea of "them". No everything was over and the pregnancy…

She was still pregnant with his child.

She knew he would want to be involved. Despite everything else he was a loving and fantastic father to Alexis. He loved children and would definitely want to be a part of their child's life.

Just thinking about this brought the tears back to her eyes.

She wanted this, a future together with Castle. Not without him.

Finally the Detective arrived in front of her building and parked her car. Just as she was about to get out her right arm brushed over her chest in an attempt to calm herself down when she felt it.

Her mothers ring.

Tears clouded her eyes again as she fiddled the ring out from under her shirt.

Her vision got cloudier and she kissed the ring gently and broke out in tears all over again.

She enclosed the ring in her right palm and pressed the fist against her chest in an attempt to hold it close to her. Or more like holding her mother closer to her.

God did she miss her mother.

She missed her so badly.

She wouldn't be here to teach her anything about her pregnancy.

See her grandchild.

Compare pregnancies with her mother.

For nothing.

She would be here for nothing.

In this moment it came over her again.

She was alone. Castle gone. Her mother gone. Her dad, Lanie and the boys were still there but she needed Castle and her mother to get through this.

Otherwise she knew she wouldn't have the power. Not right now, not in this mental state. She would break internally if she continued like this.

She collected her emotions and got out of the car up into her apartment.

It was already 12pm and she was completely exhausted and simply went into her bathroom, removed her make up and clothes and threw herself on her bed.

She cried herself to sleep.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Richard, Darling I'm home." Martha cheered as she entered the loft. Fiddling with her coat she shook out her hair to remove her coat more easily. As she did she looked down on the floor and got a glance of a piece of paper.

She picked it up and paled while reading it.

"Oh my…" She stopped herself by putting her left palm over her mouth.

She was shocked, thoroughly shocked.

As the shock subsidized a light flodded through her.  
She was getting another grandchild.

Smiling to herself she realized she needed to give to her son.

Wait, him and the Detective weren't together… were they?

She hastened in long steps over to her son's bedroom.

"Richard, I hope you in there alone and not with that awful blonde."

Rick sighed.

"No Mother I'm alone, come in."

She bolted in and looked confused to Rick as she handed him the paper. But stopped halfway and pulled her arm back.

"It lay in the hallway, appears it was shoved under the door. It's her handwriting. Becketts."

He swallowed, anger boomed through his chest again but he extended his hand towards his mother.

"Give it to me."

He still felt bad about what he had said to Beckett earlier. He didn't mean it like that he was just…

So hurt.

He was so hurt and angry with her.

His mother curled the paper in her hand, hesitating to hand it over to him.

"Richard it's kind of a shocker."

She bit down her bottom lip.

"Kiddo try to stay calm."

Rick got impatient.

"For god's sake mother how bad can it be?"

She slowly gave him the paper and observed his reaction carefully as he read it.

His mouth formed an O and he gasped as he read her message.

He instantly regretted what he had said to her earlier even more.

OF course he was angry, still was but he had really lashed out at her.

And now...

now..

Kate was pregnant.

Pregnant.

She was pregnant with his child.

That had been what she had wanted to talk about earlier and he had sent her away. Called her a "good fuck" and told her rudely that they were over.

Shit

Shit

Shit

He must fix this.

He needed to fix this because…

Because this was his future.

Kate and the baby.

He could imagine a future with her but now it was probably all lost.

He buried his head in his hands.

Martha observed the scene the whole time. Her son's initial shock reaction to one of remorse and regret and finally burying his head in his hands.

"Kiddo I don't want to interrupt but how can she be pregnant with your child? You never went beyond the partner relationship if I am not mistaken?"

She asked carefully.

He looked up into her eyes, a remorseful expression present in his .

He broke the eye contact.

"And I sent her away." He said with a pitiful smile.

Martha was confused.

"Kiddo what are you talking about?"

He looked to his mother again.

"She came here earlier to talk to me but I sent her away and threw expletives at her."

His mother still hadn't got the answer she had wanted.

She asked again. More explicit.

"Richard how can she be pregnant from you? Not that I'm not excited about the prospect of having another grandchild."

He looked away and answered absentmindedly.

"We were having something going but no emotions involved"

His mother's mouth formed an O.

"Oh kiddo"

He looked at her again and determination apparent in his eyes.

"Mother I need to fix this! I mean I still have feelings for her but she lied to me and used me just for sex." He said so fast that Martha could barely decipher his words but his anger was apparent.

"Richard talk to her let her at least explain everything."

He spoke again.

"During the shooting I confessed I love her and she lied that she didn't remember. Kept me running behind her like a pug."

Martha answered promptly.

"Richard, the poor girl was shot. She was confused I guess it was too much to take for her at once."

He swallowed

shit

shit

shit

He hadn't thought about it this way.

"Mother how am I supposed to go to her now?"

He looked desperate.

"Kiddo sleep over it and go over to her place tomorrow. You two need to learn how to talk to each other."

She continued: "You have to ask yourself these question:

Do you want to fix your relationship?"

He nodded

"Do you still lover her?"

He nodded "but I am so angry with her at the same time"

His mother continued

"Are you willing to do everything to get her back?"

He nodded again

"but she has to explain everything."

Martha continued with her advice:

"Plan out what you want to say and go to her first thing in the morning. It's 1 am she's probably sleeping right now anyway."

He got up and hugged his mother.

"Thanks mother I don't know what I would do without you."

She padded his head.

"Richard don't mess this up. I'm really keen on becoming a grandmother again."

He smiled sadly.

"If we can fix our relationship."

Martha kissed him on his forehead.

"Have hope kiddo. You love her. Love is enough."

She went upstairs and he laid down in his bed again.

Maybe love was enough but was it enough to save his and Kate's broken relationship?

He closed his eyes as tears rolled down his cheeks.

He was still angry but beyond all this anger his love for Kate began to take over his feelings again.

The writer hoped tomorrow would bring more clarity to the situation.

If he just knew how wrong he was.

Hoping tomorrow would bring more clarity to the whole situation.


	3. Chapter 3

Hey people chapter 3 for y'all.

I am so happy for the response i got for this story and your reviews keep me going!

Have a lovely weekend and you can expect the next chapter monday evening european time :)

 **Chapter 3**

Her sleep had been to put it lightly: restless. It had sucked. She awoke several times after having dreamed of her mother and the alley. One time during the countless nightmares from last night, she was actually with her as she got stabbed. These images would never get out of her mind again.

God she missed her mother so dearly.

Kate felt as if she hadn't slept for days. Her body was at the point of physical exhaustion and she needed to take care of herself a little bit more.

A little voice in her head reminded her: don't forget you're pregnant.

Right, as if she could forget.

It wasn't as if this pregnancy was entirely unwanted but it partially was, mostly it was untimely planned.

It wasn't even planned at all.

She wanted this with Castle.

Someday in the future, not right now.

They weren't even together right now and both really needed to work on and fix their relationship before beginning to expand their family.

Maybe be engaged or married.

Daydreams she told herself once again.

Those are daydreams Kate.

They hardly come true.

She closed her eyes, inhaled deeply and opened her eyes. She lay in her king-size bed on her back and started onto her ceiling.

It wasn't the white up there that had attracted her but the new perspective it provided.

Don't look forward, look up!

Groaning she ran her hands through her long tangle brown strands of hair and let her arms fall on the bed again.

Closing her eyes again she finally found the courage to get up. Start the day, coffee, working.

As she removed her comforter her skin immediately responded with Goosebumps so she got out a blanket, wrapping it around her and marching into her bathroom.

Her toes were now cold as well.

She sat down on the toilet and wiggled them until she could feel them again properly.

Sighing she looked into her reflection in the mirror and rolled her eyes.

God did she look hideous.

Her skin color was paler than normal (probably from the stress) and looked flatly, dull, lifelessly. As if she was a shell of her former self.

She stood up and she was making her way over to the mirror to inspect her face a little bit closer she got interrupted by a phone.

The shrill noise boomed through her apartment making her body react with Goosebumps all over the place.

She hastened out of her bathroom and nearly took a fall due to her blanket where she got her feet somehow tangled up.

She reached the phone.

Beckett

It was CSU informing her of a body drop corner of Canal Street and Lexington Avenue.

She scribbled down the address on the pad next to her and hastened in her closet to pull out her work outfit.

Black tight skinny jeans and a dark silk blouse were it for the day. She topped it off with a white blazer.

She spiced it up with her new Bordeaux colored Trench coat and ran into the bathroom to put some makeup on to look at least a tiny bit like her former self.

She was finished and rushed in the bathroom again to grab her mother's ring and her phone.

Sadness overcame her again and tears prickled her eyes.

Don't cry now Kate.

Not now. She told herself and pinched her nose to hold her tears back.

She swallowed them down and got in the kitchen to fix herself some coffee.

She knew that caffeine was bad for the baby but a small amount couldn't be that harmful.

And she needed the coffee today. It had been a horrible night and would only get better with a coffee.

Holding her coffee she thought of Castle again. How he always had brought her coffee just to "see her smile".

Closing her eyes for a moment Kate regained her composure and walked to the door.

Putting on her 4 inch Jimmy Choos she felt normal again.

Finally.

The Detective arrived at the crime scene 20 min later and was greeted by Ryan and Espo.

"Morning boss." Ryan and Espo greeted her with a smile.

She smiled back lightly.

"Morning boys, what have we got here?"

Espo waved her towards them and the smell of the decaying body instantly got her and nearly swept her off her feet.

She put her hands on her hips for a moment and tried to regain her composure and battling the nauseas that is rising in her stomach.

She exhales deeply and closes her eyes.

Espo and Ryan ogle her warily.

"Beckett, everything alright?" Ryan asks her worriedly and moves towards her.

Kate shrieks out of her trance state and goes with her hands through her hair.

"Ehm yes of course. Didn't sleep well last night, that's all."

Espo waves her toward him.

"Come Lanie can give us preliminary COD and hopefully and ID."

Kate nods and follows him.

"Hey Beckett." Lanie greets her smirking.

"Hey Lanie."

Kate throws her a smile back.

Lanie always knew how to lift the mood.

"So her name is Elsa Jensen. She is 28 years old and lived in Midtown, she was pregnant."

Kate's glance shot up to Lanie.

"Pregnant?" She asked in disbelief.

"Yeah but not far along. She has an ultrasound picture in her wallet, looks about 17 weeks."

Kate nods absentmindedly.

"We'll ask about surveillance videos, be right back."

Ryan said sensing that Lanie wanted to talk to Kate.

Both men went and Lanie took a closer look at her friend.

"Honey you don't look to good, what's wrong?"

"Lanie you know what's wrong."

"I know did you tell writerboy?"

Kate felt tears prickle in her eyes again and closed them. She inhaled deeply.

Lanie got worried.

"Kate?" She asked timedly.

"Lanie I didn't get to tell him. He had a bimbo with him and brushed me off. He didn't even want to talk to me and called me a "good fuck". He then slapped the door into my face.

Lanie gasped. She got an angry expression on her face.

"Oh no writer boys in much trouble now. He doesn't get to call you that!" Lanie was clearly agitated.

"Kate does he know?" She gestured towards the Brunette's stomach.

Kate shook her head.

"I wrote him a note and shoved it under his door. He hasn't made any attempts to contact me. So I suppose he doesn't care."

Tears rolled down her cheeks again.

Lanie walked over to her and hugged her tightly.

"Honey I care. You will have me and the boys. If they get wind of the situation they will deal with Castle. Believe me. Javi's gonna freak out for sure."

Kate smiled lightly.

"Thanks Lanie."

The ME gave her a reassuring hand shake.

"Yo Beckett."

Espo's voice halled through the alley.

"Let's get back to the 12th."

"Coming!"

She shouted back and gave Lanie a last hug before she hastened towards the boys.

Richard Castle had slept awfully.

He had dreamed of Kate the whole night. He and Kate at the precinct.

At remy's.

Kate getting shot, lying in his arms as life slowly left her.

He dreamed of the baby and could clearly imagine a little girl with Kate's looks and his imagination. A girl who would drive him crazy with her smile and would drive Kate crazy with her overactive imagination.

Or a little boy with eyes and her reserved character,

a smile tugged on his lips.

He wanted to be a part of his child's life; this was out of the question.

He just wasn't to sure if Kate would let him be a part of it.

He hoped he would let him. He would fight to be in his child's life.

He woke up gradually and immediately jumped under the shower, wanting to wash the events of the previous day of his body.

Castle wanted to forget everything from yesterday. He remembered the note which now lay on his nightstand. Castle had looked at it the whole time, he was clinging onto his new future.

When he exited the shower he grabbed his phone and called Kate .

She didn't pick up.

He called her again 10 mins later, tapping anxiously on his knee while his phone ringed.

After the 6th ringing she picked up.

"Beckett."

He froze.

"It's Castle. How are you ?"

God why was he beginning small talk?

"Fine. Castle what is it?"

She cut the talk straight to the point.

"Can we talk? I know I've been a douche yesterday,

She huffed at that

"But I want to apologize and talk to you about the note you left."

Silence

"Mhm okay. Let's meet after my shift. At 9pm."

Yay! He thought internally

"Mine or your place?"

"Yours. It's closer to the precinct and its on my way home. More practical."

He agreed.

"Okay see you at 9."

Kate hung up.

She dreaded the talk.

Didn't want to do it.

The case was a classic. Angry boyfriend had killed her.

Kate felt sorry for her.

She wasn't really focused today.

Her thoughts circled around her impending talk with Castle.

She was so focused on it she nearly blocked out everything else.

When she left the precinct at 9pm she felt a headache and groaned.

God she really didn't need one of those now.

She generally did feel a little under the weather today but she wouldn't admit to that.

The Detective was shivering slightly, and the headache was getting worse.

She dreaded the talk with Castle now.

The Brunette got out of her car up to Castle's apartment.

She felt a wave of dizziness overrun her again and hold onto the railing and inhaled deeply.

No time to get a panic attack now Kate.

She told herself.

Her whole body hurt and just after she had knocked one time on Castle's door she felt the dizziness rush over her again and only remembered the door opening for a bit until darkness engulfed her and she collapsed onto the floor.


	4. Chapter 4

Hey people chapter 4 for you all :)

I hadn't really time to spell check everything so bare with me if you find a few mistakes ;)

Have a lovely day !

Serenakroes

CHAPTER 4

Castle had thought he heard something coming from outside his loft and went to the door but his mother was there before him.

"Richard Darling it's probably Martin. He was supposed to be here 10 minutes ago . So if you could shush I'd be really thankful."

She shushed him away with a gesture of her hands.

His mother chuckled and Rick rolled his eyes and went back into his office to continue writing . It was 8;55 by now and Kate would probably arrive any minute by now.

He was anxious about the talk he wanted it to go well. Really well. Scratch that: he needed it to go well

Because

Because this was his future

A scream echoed through the loft and he turned around in an instant.

His mothers terrified voice echoed through the loft :

"Richard come quick it's Beckett ."

Rick bolted towards her and the door and saw Beckett lying unconscious on the floor.

He gasped and instantly kneeled down towards the limp form of the detective .

Placing his head against her face he could feel her breathing and lightly grabbed her wrist and felt her pulse. It was weak but still there.

She was still breathing thank god!

But her face looked deadly pale.

His mother interrupted his train of thought :"For gods sake Richard pick her up and Carry her inside." Her voice was frantic and she opened the door wider so he and the detective could more easily enter the Loft.

Castle was still crouched down and and looked into Kates face.

He then slowly began to slide an arm under her upper torso and another under her knees. Once he had her secured he stood up with Kate in his arms. Her head lolled into the crease of his left elbow and she looked almost as she was sleeping peacefully in his arms.

Castle swiftly entered the loft and immediately placed Kate on the couch.

His mother had shaken up some pillows and he rested Kate's head against them.

His mother came back into the living room with a cold washcloth in her hand.

Richard place it on her forehead.

He took the cloth from her and her forehead really felt hot and feverish as he placed it on Kate's forehead.

Worry got apparent on the lines on his face and he creased his forehead and sat down next to the limp form of the detective.

Why had she blacked out ?

Was something wrong with her?

Or the baby?

Shoot he hadn't thought about the latter option.

Had something gone wrong with the pregnancy?

He sat down next to Kate's limp form and placed her hand gently in his.

Rick was very concerned about her and couldn't let his gaze wander away from her.

She looked really pale and he felt her forehead again and checked his watch.

She had been unconscious for 3 minutes now if it would extend to 5 he had to bring her to a hospital. Maybe she had a concussion.

Rick saw Kate's eyes lightly flutter open and she slowly took in her surroundings . Her eyes began to dart quickly around the room and panic settled on her face.

Rick smiled and squeezed her hand slightly.

"Beckett? Kate you fainted and lay unconscious on my doorstep."

She shifted her eyes to his and gasped slightly.

" I , I didn't feel that good. But I think I'm fine now."

She tried to stand up but Rick hold her back and pushed her lightly down on the couch again.

"Kate you just fainted. Stay here and relax for a moment."

She got angry.

"Castle I feel fine let me go. I just wanted to come and talk and then go back to my place I have to work tomorrow."

He got angry as well:" you can talk to me while you relax. Speak up."

She huffed and sat herself up. Her head felt heavy and she felt as if she was coming down with something, probably a cold.

"Speak up? You start. You wanted to talk."

He sighed

"Fine. Are you really pregnant?"

She shot him a glance :" lance did a blood test and I peed on 15 of those Home test and every single one was positive. So yeah I guess I am ."

She looked angrily at him.

"Why are you looking so angrily at me?"

He asked annoyed.

"I don't now. I'm angry about what you said to me: that I'm a good fuck."

She looked down in her lap and tears threatened to spill from her eyes again. She quickly brushed them away with her finger and looked up again.

"Kate I didn't mean that the way I said. I was just so angry and still am. You lay dying in my arms when I told you I loved you and you just ignored me and and let me follow you like a love sick puppy. I must have looked pathetic. You could have just told me you didn't feel the same."

She looked down in her lap again.

" i didn't tell you I remembered because I wanted to be better for you. I'm so broken already and and I don't know to be with one properly and didn't want to drag you with me in my dark hole."

She looked up and saw and expression of sadness all over his face.

He understood now why she had lied.

" I thought you just said it as an impulse reaction and it didn't mean anything."

She added

He looked at her again.

"You could have told me and not leave me waiting there for 3 months . That was so selfish Beckett."

She looked angrily at him:

" yeah sorry for getting shot and needing time to recover."

She threw at him cynically.

"I mean everything is over now anyway , you don't love me anymore and have a new muse to play with. Guess I was right and am not good enough for you."

She stood up.

"Kate."

She looked away.

" I cannot stop loving you. I still do."

She looked confused

"You do ? Because I do too."

He was now grinning from ear to ear and got closer to her and took her hand.

" castle we can't be together."

He looked as if he had been punched in the gut.

She quickly corrected what she had said before

"I mean not now. We're both still angry at each other and my therapist suggested we would both take some time to figure out what we want for us.

She tried to explain with a serious and painstaking expression.

He choked " you you go to therapy?"

She nodded and quieted him with a hand gesture.

"I think we should take 2 weeks to really think everything through and cool a bit down. What do you think?"

He slowly nodded "i guess that's reasonable."

She continued " so no contact for 2 weeks."

His heart felt like it had been slapped but he still nodded slowly.

"Okay."

Kate smiled lightly

"Good talk?"

He laughed and took her hand

"Yeah good talk" he responded with a smile and his gaze wandered down to her stomach.

"What's with the baby? "

He asked curiously and looked her in the eyes.

"Fine. I haven't been to the doctor yet but I guess I'm fine."

He smiled.

"But you are going right?" He asked nervously

"Yeah yeah" she replied and gestured with her hands to move on to the next topic.

"I'll go now see you in two weeks."

He nodded and she went to the door

"Kate " he sounded so hopeful

She turned around on her heels and looked him questiongly in the eyes

"What is it castle? "

Call if anything happens or when you have you appointment with the baby. I want to be there."

She nodded and left the apartment.

Rick stood alone in his loft and stared at the door. He was feeling light and bubbly again, he could hug the world.

Despite all this a premonition slowly crept into his bones giving him a shiver about what is about to happen next.

They were Kate Beckett and Richard Castle, nothing has ever been easy for them and he was a fool to believe that this time it would be.


	5. Chapter 5

Hey people! Sorry i took so long for me to update i just moved into college and it all has been a bit crazy these last few weeks.

I'll promise to publish more often from now on!

Have fun reading and leave me a review (they make my day!)

xx serenakroes

2 weeks. They would not talk for 2 weeks to sort their feelings out.

Kate didn't really know what to think about that, ironic considering she proposed it in the first place.

God this was messed up. Of course Burke hadn't suggested it but she had simply chickened out of confronting Castle once again.

Good job Kate!

She put her head in her hands and tried to move forward, into the elevator.

The brunette hadn't come a long way since leaving Castle's loft 3 min ago.

All her thoughts circled around Castle and the fact that he still loved her despite everything and that she confessed her love to him as well. The latter part shocked Kate even more.

She wasn't one to share her feelings easily, scratch that even display her feelings wasn't easy for her.

The Detective lifted her head out of her hands and looked up and saw the elevator in front of her. It was weird, somehow the elevator seemed to have shifted a little into an peculiar angle. Great her head was swirling again and she could feel a headache forming.

She closed her eyes quickly and pushed the button for the elevator.

As she rode down she felt lost.

She was completely lost.

The brunette had no plan how to sort out her feelings or what to do in these two weeks except trying to gather up the courage to tell Castle she wants to be with him.

The young woman would certainly need a plan.

She would need to figure it out.

Everything.

Bing. The elevator had arrived and she stepped out of Castle's building into the busy vibrant streets of SOHO.

Walking down the street she began to map out a plan in her mind about her and Castle.

Just as she was about to really embark on that topic her phone ringed.

Thank God!

It was Espo telling her they have a new body drop and the location.

She noted everything and seemed far to excited for simply a new case.

As the young woman walked down the streets all her thoughts about Castle had been shoved into the back of her head.

An answer would come later for them.

Now it was work!

Castle

Richard Castle was clueless for the first time in his life.

And happy. He was to better phrase it ecstatic.

Katherine Beckett, his muse, best friend and love of his life was carrying his child.

It couldn't get any better.

Except,

Yeah it could get better.

He wanted for both of them to be together.

To talk, make love, laughing, play with their child or possibly children in the future.

Castle was selfish. He wanted everything with Kate.

Every single thing!

They would need to be a couple. He couldn't survive seeing her with another men or not having her near to him the whole time.

She was like oxygen for him.

Everything was brighter when she was around.

Kate Beckett was truly extraordinary if she wanted to be.

Sometimes she wasn't.

Sometimes she was a hypocrite and a liar.

Sometimes was rather frequently in the last few weeks.

Despite all the sometimes he still loved her.

He wanted to be with her.

Richard Castle sat down on his stool and looked around the room, his gaze wandering out into his apartment.

His kitchen, the living room.

He imagined him and Kate cooking in the kitchen, throwing Spagetti at one another.

The brunette's laugther echoing through the loft.

Both of them dancing in the living room, sitting together on the couch he placing a hand on her swollen stomach and feeling their child move, seeing a huge smile forming on both of their faces.

Rick wanted this.

All of this.

He stood up and walked into the living room.

Standing there in complete silence he was rattled when his mother and Alexis entered the loft.

You could hear Alexis laughing from the hallway which instantly formed a smile on his lips.

He loved hearing his baby girl laughing.

Maybe soon his two baby girls or his baby girl and his baby boy.

He smiled even more.

The redheads entered the loft and Martha immediately threw her purse on the floor.

"Hello my son darling! How was your day?"

Alexis came up to him and hugged him.

"I have to talk to the both of you." He said with a somewhat serious tone.

Alexis smile faltered and she looked him quizicly in the eyes.

"Dad what's wrong?"

Her voice sounded fragile.

He gestured to the couch.

"Sit down."

His mother gave him a knowing smile.

"Richard is this about a certain Detective?"

He just nodded but Alexis looked confused.

"Dad tell me now!"

He threw his hands in the air.

"Okay, okay."

Alexis scooted closer to him and he took both her hands in his ones.

"Pumpkin Detective Beckett is pregnant with my child."

He said it straight out.

Alexis looked shell shocked.

She removed her hands from his.

"Dad are you serious? I thought you hated her, she hurt you so much!"

"I know honey I am still angry at her but I still lover her and our child."

Alexis got enraged.

"She hurt you so much. You weren't yourself over the summer, got depressed got better and then depressed again because she lied in your face. How can you even consider being with her? She only breaks your heart. How did she even get pregnant?"

Alexis voice boomed through the loft.

Martha intervened.

"Alexis honey he is in love with this woman. There is no easy explanation for it."

"Grams he had another girl here 2 days ago. If he would be really in love with her this girl wouldn't have been here."

Castle intervened.

"Alexis I was hurt by Beckett's actions and lies but she is still pregnant with my child."

"Dad that doesn't excuse all the things she has done. I am sorry but I don't find this so good. I mean of course I am excited to have a sibling but I don't like the idea of you and her being together until you're sure she won't break you heart again."

Castle sighed.

"I am a grown man pumpkin. I'll watch out but I am glad to hear you're excited for your sibling."

Alexis smiled lightly.

"Dad, don't let the pregnancy excuse all the things she had done to you."

He nodded his hand and Alexis made her way up to her room.

"I have an AP exam in 3 weeks. I need to study."

He smiled at her and she vanished into her room.

He sat down sighing as his mother joined him.

"Richard I have to say she has some points. Don't let the fact that she's pregnant now excuse all her misdoings. I mean you both made mistakes and you both need time to heal and trust each other again. This takes times. Don't rush into anything."

He nodded again and his mother left to her rooms as well.

Castle began thinking about Kate and the baby.

Just saying the baby made his heart melt.

The baby.

Their baby.

Kate's and his baby.

They would have a baby.

His phone began ringing and he walked into his office.

As he saw the caller Id the blood froze in his veins.

It was Mister Smith.

He answered the phone timidly.

"Mr Castle I have new news regarding the people how are willing to put Beckett into the ground."

"I'm listening."


	6. Chapter 6

Kate was kind of excited for the body drop.

Another case.

Another thing to distract her from the mess that Castle and her relationship was.

She noted down everything the uniform on the other end of the phone told her and seemed far to exhilarated for simply a new case.

As the young woman walked down the streets all her thoughts about Castle had been shoved into the back of her head.

An answer would come later for them.

Now it was work!

Work, work, work! Focus on work Kate! The young woman told herself over and over again as she made her way to a new fresh crime scene.

Think about work! She nearly pleaded her mind, not wanting to think about Castle.

He was really all she could think about.

His hair,

His smell

His laugh and smile

His eyes

OMG his eyes

A smirk spread on her face but she quickly let it disappear as another thought dropped into her mind again.

They would not talk for 2 weeks.

It was basically bonkers and she knew that both of them could not stand to be so long away from each after, they had just even confessed their love for each other not even, she looked on her watch, 49 minutes ago.

It was all fresh and new and Kate wanted to work on it.

Their relationship, her feelings for Castle.

Basically on everything.

She needed to work on it, for her and Castle's sake. She would drive him bonkers otherwise.

As the brunette approached the crime scene she felt an eerily familiar feeling creep up her arm sleeves and she shivered slightly.

Espo came to her to fill her in on the case and anger was displayed all over his face. As well as worry.

Kate's smile quickly disappeared and worry etched on her face; she wrinkled her forehead.

"Espo what is it? You look like you've seen a ghost."

He lowered his head but his voice could be heard clearly.

"Blonde woman, strangled with a rope, she's staged like other victim's we've seen before."

Kate blanched but she kept her composure.

"Espo we don't know if it's Tyson." She said in a worrisome voice.

Kate started to move forward to the crime scene and body where Lanie and Ryan were waiting.

They approached and Lanie exhaled deeply as she got view of Kate. Even more stress for her best friend.

"It looks like a murder done by 3XK. I can only surely tell you if it was the same rope back in the morgue. It certainly looks a lot like him."

Kate nodded.

Ryan intervened: "Should we go ask around the neighborhood if anyone knew her. We found her Student ID: Adele Scherer, Austrian citizen who is matriculated in Law at Columbia.

I mean what was a young woman with her looks doing in this neighborhood anyway so I'd say it's quite possibly the case that someone saw her."

Kate nodded her head and gestured for him and Espo to move forward and start the search. They should look into the victim's life.

"Beckett did you call Castle?"

Ryan questioned her warily.

Kate turned around and her head got dizzy again.

She swayed a little but gained her composure back pretty quickly.

"He quit."

Espo got enraged.

"He did what?" He nearly spit the words and looked with angry eyes at Kate.

"Why?"

"I guess he's done enough research by now Espo. And he has a new arm candy so I'd say he's pretty occupied."

She wanted to leave. The scene made her already empty stomach feel nauseated.

Espo called her back.

"Beckett! We'll meet you at the 12th?"

She nodded quickly and hastened into her car.

The Detective really did feel under the weather lately. Her head still hurt horridly and she felt so dizzy and had nearly lost all her appetite due to the ever-present nausea.

As she entered her car she immediately let herself fall down onto the front seat.

She was tired and exhausted and the headache didn't lift it anyhow. Only made it worse.

Groaning she opened her glove compartment searching for some Tylenol or advil.

The headache had to go away. She couldn't concentrate on her work like that.

It was simply impossible.

She found 1 box of advil and immediately took 2 pills and drowned them down her throat.

The Brunette made her way to the precinct.

Finally.

Meanwhile at the crime scene:

"We should call him. He'll need to explain himself."

Javi was still enraged about Castle's behavior.

"It's not our business."

Ryan tried to reason with him but the Hispanic detective got more agitated.

"He left Kate! Kate! And he left us without a goodbye. He owes us one."

Ryan sighed deeply.

"Go ahead, call him."

Espo dialed his number and Castle picked up after the third ringing.

"Castle."

"Castle!"

Richard froze.

"Oh hey hi Espo. What's going on why are you calling me?"

Espo huffed.

"Why did you leave without saying goodbye?"

Castle laughed.

"Why should I call you and say goodbye when I'm going to my loft? That would be unnecessary."

Espo balled his fist.

"Why'd you leave Beckett and us?"

Castle was confused.

"Ehm I didn't."

Espo huffed.

"Why did Beckett tell us you did just 2 minutes ago?"

Castle wanted to fix this.

"I think she misunderstood. I'll see you at the precinct soon. Do you have a new case?"

Espo relented.

"Good to hear that! Yeah probably Tyson, blonde strangled and positioned as if she was sleeping. So hurry bro!"

Castle paled instantly.

"Tyson? I'll be there soon."

Both parties hung up and Espo turned towards Lanie and Ryan.

"Weird, isn't it?"

Lanie huffed.

"I don't get it. Kate told me they're over. And he says they aren't?"

Ryan gestured with his hands to get going.

"Let's not get involved in the thing they have going on between them. It's too complicated for it's own good. We can observe their reactions at the precinct."

Everybody nodded and got back to the precinct.

Ready for the showdown between Kate Beckett and Richard Castle.

At the 12th

Kate had finally arrived at the 12th and quickly went to work on her murderboard.

She wrote down everything she had found out about the victim but it was not much:

Adele Scherer had come to NY two years before and was in her second year in Columbia.

She had never been convicted or came into contact with the law before.

Kate looked at her picture. Adele was pretty. Her laugh had something maternal about it and her hair was angel blonde. Her brows were a bit darker. She reminded the Brunette a little bit of this model, Cara Delevingne.

The Detective sighed and got up. She felt her headache already returning and cursed herself for it.

That was not what she needed right now.

Maybe some information from Ryan and Espo would distract her mind a little bit from it.

She searched further for anything uncommon in the victim's life but she didn't find anything.

Adele's father was a public political figure in Austria and her mother a charity lady as it seemed.

The Detective still had to contact her parents.

God they would be devastated.

Their only daughter dead in another country.

She informed the Austrian police department and explained to the hardly English speaking guy the situation. The Brunette wasn't sure if he had understood her but she had other things to worry about now: catching her killer.

She stood up again and her head spinned again this time making her sway on her spot. The detective placed her hand against her forehead and gained her composure back.

She really needed to get good painkillers!

Moving towards the murderboard her vision began to swam again and she placed a hand on the side of the board.

"Coffe?" A very familiar voice.

She shrieked and turned around

"Castle?" She looked perplexed

"What are you doing here? You quit."

She was pissed.

"I didn't quit. You just assumed that." He corrected her.

She rolled her eyes.

"Why are you here Castle? Spill the story."

The writer hastened towards her and had a huge smile on his face, two coffee's in hand.

"Beckett, Kate I want to work with you together."

He said it with so much enthusiasm she could hardly control herself and had to crack a smile.

"Castle no it's ok. Focus on other things."

He shook his head.

"I want to work with you again please Kate. I want to watch out for you and bring you coffee again. You know, like partners."

She shook her head.

"Castle we agreed to have space for 2 weeks. You can't just barge in her as if nothing happened." She looked hurt and shot him a direct glance.

The writer sighed.

"Please we don't have to talk about us. I just want to keep you safe."

This sentence made something in her snap.

"Wait you only came back for Tyson right? You want to work on his case. That's it."

She looked agitated.

"No Kate it's not. Espo told me it's most likely him but I want to work together with you again."

She sighed deeply and ran a hand through her hair torn between taking him back or rejecting him for the next two weeks.

"Castle, leave a bit of space. We agreed on at least a few days no see."

He rolled his eyes.

"Kate you suggested that and you know it's bonkers. We can't work on our problems if we don't openly discuss them. You are simply running away from the again."

Damn that stung. The detective shut her eyes.

"Come back in a few days."

Her tone was definitve. She would never be able to get a clear head with him around all the time.

The writer got seemingly agitated.

"Kate please. I just want to help. Tyson's out there and you're pregnant."

He pleaded.

The Detective immediately shut him after he uttered the word pregnant and gave him a piercing glance.

"Don't say that here."

He relented.

"Fine but let me back."

She shook her head again.

"No you're here because of Tyson."

She sounded stubborn.

Rick got pissed.

"Kate you know that's not true."

"It is."

"No I want to be your partner again. Have your back, keep you and the baby safe."

She sushed him.

"Don't mention that the whole time."

He wrinkled his forehead in question.

"You have told Gates right?"

She nodded quickly and bit her lip. She hadn't done so yet but he would hover over her the whole time if he knew the truth. The brunette couldn't have that happening. The detective needed space for a few days to get some distance from the situation and get a clean head.

"Castle just leave."

Her tone sounded authorative.

Just in this moment Espo and Ryan came into the 12th .

"Yo Castle bro."

Espo waived towards him not noticing how tense both the writer and the detective were.

Ryan elbowed him in the ribs.

"Jeez bro."

Espo looked questioning to Ryan how gestured towards Kate and Rick.

The tension between those two was nearly tangible in the air.

"Castle leave. Come back in a few days." Kate's tone sounded definitive.

The writer looked agitated.

"Beckett it's ridiculous. Let me be your partner again. Tyson's back for God sake."

He moved closer towards the detective who moved a step back. Espo was about to go between them when Ryan hold him back.

"Wait."

They looked again towards the scene which now showed Rick and Kate fighting with each other loudly until Beckett silenced him with her palm over his mouth.

"Leave me alone for a few days!"

He slapped her hand away.

"Why are you so stubborn? Just think of the other person."

She threw him a death glare as he stormed off the precinct.

Espo and Ryan ogled her warily.

"What?" She barked at them.

Both shook but Ryan quickly barged forward and started telling her about their founds.

"Adele Schere was a seemingly popular girl. Her best friend lives two blocks from the crime scene. She was at her house before the murder happened.

Her name in Lucy Halliwell, also goes to Columbia."

Kate nodded and began writing down everything on her murder board.

She noticed Espo and Ryan staring at her.

"Please continue tracking down her best friend and ask if she was there with her last night."

Both nodded quickly and disappeared.

The detective had been so wrong.

Work had done absolutely nothing to distract her. She simply had to make her way through it.


	7. Chapter 7

Sorry people i had a writers block with this story.

If anyone has any ideas about how to continue message me ! :)

Richard Castle stormed out of the twelfth precinct and shook his head several times, as if he was trying to get rid of some thoughts. This sadly wasn't possible and he got annoyed at himself.

When he reached his car he grabbed the door handle far to hard and tried to open the door with pressure but it didn't work.

Sighing loudly he threw his arms in the air and let them land on the roof of the car.

God this was frustrating.

Why was Beckett just this damn stubborn? He just wanted to keep her safe for God's sake.

She was always driving herself into the ground when they had serial killer cases. It sometimes seemed as if she was another person during the case, an obsessed and not caring Kate. A Kate, who doesn't care about anything except finding the killer.

He couldn't let that happen this time. No, this time it had to be different; needed to be different.

She was pregnant, pregnant with their child and she needed to care for herself now.

When he had first caught a glance of her when entering the precinct, he could tell she was exhausted.

It was not a surprise to be honest.

Her emotional release and annoyance towards him was kind of confusing.

They were _supposed_ to be in love with each other. At least that's what he was, she hopefully as well. No she had to be. She had just confessed her love to him earlier tonight.

The writer looked at his watch and was shaken by the late hour. It was already 11.30pm. This was too late for Beckett in her condition.

No, just no.

Deep down Castle knew that this was normal for Beckett, it wasn't different than their other intense cases or any cases in general.

Except it somehow was.

She is pregnant; she couldn't overexert herself all the time from now on.

Sighing the writer got into his car and drove home.

Arriving at the loft he quickly texted Esposito to look out for Beckett and got answered with an OK! from the Hispanic Detective.

At least someone was looking out for her if he wasn't allowed to.

He was her partner for God's sake.

He was supposed to have her back, keep her safe.

Except now he got kicked out from his partner.

Kicked him out of their partnership as it seemed.

The writer tried to stop to think about all this and started dreaming about the future while getting ready for bed.

He knew deep down that this kind of obsession was a part of Kate. A part that derived from the obsession of finding her mother's killer, come what may.

With the latest news he had just gotten from Mr. Smith earlier this week he needed to watch out for her now; had to be cautious that she wouldn't drive herself in the ground and cautious that she wouldn't work on her mother's murder.

The message Smith had given him was very explicit: Keep her away from the case; she has been investigating in secret. Keep her occupied somehow just keep her away from it!

He needed to do that.

For his future, their future.

Kate, his and their baby's future.

Just thinking about the baby made his heart jump.

The writer loved the little one already and couldn't wait to meet him/her in a few months.

Thinking about his future, Richard Castle fell asleep with a smile, unknowing of what hurdles where to come before they finally would have their happy ending.

Kate was exhausted. Castle's coffee hadn't done much work in terms of waking her up. Her special ingredient was missing: Castle himself.

Drinking coffee with him was kind of special, a magical tradition only between them; their thing.

The detective loved drinking coffee with him, speculating about the case and just laughing the day away. It all seemed so easy sometimes. As if she could just dive into this life she imagines; together with him. Always together.

On the other hand found she it really hard to open up to him. She had a wall. A brick, sturdy stubborn wall that was hard to overcome or destruct.

She wanted to have this life together with Castle but he deserved so much more in her opinion.

His generosity, the way he cared about people and the way he was a father to Alexis, who had blossomed into a beautiful, smart young woman. He was amazing.

A ruggedly handsome bestselling author and she was just Kate. Just Kate.

He loved her. Thinking about it made her heart pound faster and her whole body began to twitch with anticipation.

He loved her.

And she loved him as well. So much! He didn't even know how much.

His love had been the only thing that kept her sane over the summer. Without it she would have probably drowned deeply in her depression, pills and anxiety.

She started to daydream about their future. Him and her going to central park; kissing on the swings; both of them going on the playground with their little one in tow.

It was too perfect to be real.

Beckett!

Kate startled and saw Esposito in front of her.

Beckett it's 2 am we should probably all go home. I mean you fell asleep on your desk a few minutes ago. It's a sign.

Kate stretched her neck and nodded.

Espo and Ryan grabbed their jackets and left with a quick Goodnight! to her.

The Detective stood up grabbed her own jacket, batch, gun and phone as well and made her way home.

Arriving in her apartment she was too exhausted to do anything and simply removed her makeup, brushed her teeth and fell tired to death in her bed. Hopefully tomorrow was going to be better.

The night was sadly a short one for the Brunette who got waken up by her nauseous stomach at around 5.45 am. Not even bothering to open her eyes properly she stumbled tipsy looking into her bathroom and emptied her stomach contents over the toilet. Except there was no food left in her stomach. She simply dry heaved for what seemed like 4 min and sat down on the floor afterwards with a spinning head.

God this was awful. She simply couldn't keep anything down and her energy was fading rapidly. Was this still normal?

She got up slowly and moved towards the sink to gulp down some water. Looking in the mirror she was shocked.

Her skin was nearly translucent and her under eye bags were more prominent than ever. She could also see that she was getting thinner. Her cheekbones were sharper than before, as well as her collarbone.

The brunette swallowed. This was not good. She didn't know much about pregnancies, hardly anything to be frankly, but she knew that she was supposed to gain weight not loose it.

She needed to schedule an appointment with her OB asap.

Sighing she left the bathroom and ran her hands through her hair, it felt a bit greasy so she decided to take a bath to relax, it was only 6 am.

Taking off her clothes she stepped into the hot water and immediately felt all the soreness of her limbs fade away in an instant. Inhaling deeply she let herself fully into the water and closed her eyes while leaning back.

God this was relaxing. She should do that every single day if possible.

Leave a review:)


	8. Chapter 8

Sorry for the late update but MIDTERMS have been a pain in the ass but i am finally finished yay!

Hope you like the chapter :) xxSerena

Arriving at the precinct Kate sighed deeply.

She should have stayed in her bathtub it was so much more relaxing.

It was only 7.30 am by now and the precinct was nearly deserted which she actually quite liked since it gave you a quiet space to think and work more efficiently. Not that she didn't love working with her boys during the day, but sometimes some quietness is just exactly what you need.

Sitting down in her chair she sighed deeply and took a look around her desk: her mom's elephants, a deserted bags of yellow m&m's which looked out of date and the file. The file. The case, shoot she needed to continue.

The detective called a dozen of Adele's classmates trying to get out if they knew anything and should come down to the precinct. Nobody was particularly useful expect this German girl Luka who gave her the names of Adele's closest friends.

At least something to work with.

She didn't know what time it was but she startled and noticed that she had fallen asleep on her desk yet again. God what was wrong with her?

"Hey boss! Are you tired again?" Ryan's voice echoed from the break room.

Sighing she looked at her watch 8.30. God she hadn't even been here for 2 hours and she had already fallen asleep great!

She brushed Ryan & Espo's worrying glances towards her away and stood up to make herself some actual coffee to wake up properly.

"Yo Beckett! You're pale. Something up? You sick or something?" Espo looked concerned as he approached her and saw her face in close up.

"M'fine. Couldn't sleep that well I guess."

"Mhm.. okay" Both the boys hummed going back to their desk.

She couldn't help but crack a smile.

"Ryan and Epso work! I dug out the best friends of our victim let's go!" She grabbed her jacket and was about to leave as Castle entered the bullpen, coffee and bearclaw in hand.

Kate rolled her eyes. Why did he have to show up again? She loved it but she told him she needed a bit of time.

"Good morning everyone!" Castle proclaimed loudly through the whole bullpen a huge smile plastered on his face.

God it was so typical for him to make such an entrance.

"Detective." He hastened towards her put her coffee and bearclaw on her desk and attempted to bow before her a smile cracking at his lips.

Kate rolled her eyes at him and couldn't help as a smile tucked at her lips.

"Castle why are you so joyful on this particular morning?" Kate questioned him.

Before the writer could form an answer Espo interrupted him.

"Yeah bro since when do you bow before Beckett?" Espo asked him laughingly and high fived with Ryan.

"Guys I have to before my muse because I just got an offer for a new Nikki Heat movie! This all wouldn't be possible without my inspirational muse!" He beamed at Kate who chuckled.

"Castle that's great congrats!" He smiled back at her.

"Thanks Beckett!"

Espo interrupted their intimate moment and quickly broke their contact. "Yo Beckett let's go?" He gave her an asking look, gesturing towards the door.

"Yeah course let's go. We should split the names up, there are 8 here so 4 for you and Ryan, Castle and I will do the other ones." He ripped the piece of paper where she had jotted all the names down in half handing one half to the Hispanic detective.

"Let's go!" Espo and Ryan quickly exited the bullpen, Ryan ushering the Hispanic forward who wanted to ogle Beckett and Castle a little more closely. They seemed off during the last weeks. There was something weird between them.

Kate exhaled as the boys had left the 12th, now focusing all her attention at Castle.

"Listen, Castle"

He looked attentively at her

"I'm sorry I snapped at you yesterday. I was just really tired and pissed off about everything. Sorry." She looked down on the floor.

Castle lifted her chin lightly, looking straight into her beautiful green eyes which seemed to be tearing up, only slightly.

"Kate it's ok. I get it. You wanted time and I pushed you. I am sorry."

The detective suddenly engulfed him in a hug, nearly squeezing him to death as she was clinging onto him for dear life. Not that he complained.

"Kate it's ok. Everything will be fine." He whispered into her ear, stroking her back gently as she buried her head even deeper into his chest.

The writer loved having her this close, Kate smelled so good and his heart simply turned into jelly when he had her this close. It felt so natural and they fit together perfectly. As if Kate had been made to fit to fit his body. Two puzzle pieces that fit together.

The grumbling of her stomach separated them. Kate blushed fiercely and turned her head away.

"It seems to me as if someone is hungry." He joked.

"Mid Morning snack Beckett? Or more like Breakfast."

Beckett still had her head turned away feeling her nausea bubble up again due to some weird smell. She pressed her hand at her mouth trying to suppress it, which gladly worked and the nausea nearly vanished as she inhaled deeply and turned back to Castle.

The writer had ogled her attentively and now had a frown on his face.

"Kate are you ok?"

She nodded. "But no Bearclaw or coffee Castle."

He looked sad.

"Kate you look tired don't you want your morning pick you up? Although it's decaf because of the baby." He smiled at her.

The Detective nodded but shook her head again.

"Later. Right now I can't stomach that."

"Kate I hate to say this but you look tired and exhausted eat something."

She rolled her eyes at him.

"When the nausea is gone. You really know who to build a women's confidence Castle."

She huffed cynically.

"Kate I didn't mean it as an insult. Normally you're glowing but lately you look stressed which is not good combined with the fact that you're pregnant."

He had a questioning look on his face, as if he was waiting for her to acknowledge what he had just said.

She nodded.

"Okay Castle let's go find our victim's killer!"

XXXXXXXXXX

The questioning of the girls hadn't brought much light into the whole thing. Everyone of them was terrified and disturbed, stating that Adele was popular and everybody liked her.

Beckett was clueless, the investigation was going nowhere but if this was Tyson this was to be expected. As well as second victim which she wanted to prevent vehemently. There shouldn't be another girl dying because she isn't able to solve the case.

Castle noticed the whole time how tense Kate was and how she sometimes seemed to sway on the spot as if she is dizzy. She still looked knackered.

It was 3 pm already, it had took a lot of time to track down every single of the 4 girls who were busy with school.

Lunch. He was famished and Kate looked like she could need something to eat as well.

"Beckett?"

"Mhm"

"Let's get lunch. I'm starving and you must be too. You didn't had your bearclaw or coffee. I know a nice indian place not far from here."

She nodded and off they went.

Not noticing a certain guy observing them carefully, a menacing smile on his lips boding ill.

"Kate you can't just order Naan. That's not a proper meal. At least order some chicken and rice on the side."

Beckett rolled her eyes at him.

"Castle I told you I am nauseous like 24/7 I can't eat spicy curry."

He threw her a worrying glance.

"Kate I have to admit I am getting concerned about you. This constant nausea isn't normal."

His look was stern and concerning at the same time.

"I googled it brainy. It says it's normal in the beginning on "

He didn't seem appeased.

"Still we should ask the doctor during our first appointment. Wait when is that again?"

"I haven't made on out yet. Been busy at work."

Castle looked shellshocked.

"Kate you told me 5 days ago."

"Castle I would have never gotten an appointment that quick anyway. It will at least be 2 or 3 weeks."

The writer's mouth formed an O.

"So long?" He pouted. "But I am so excited."

The Detective cracked a small smile.

"Castle come down I'll call my OB this week and make something out. I mean I am not showing or anything."

Castle looked her directly in the eyes and grabbed her hand lovingly.

"You know you will look so beautiful."

His voice sounded like melting butter and Kate's heart literally melted.

She kissed him quickly on the lips.

"You're so sweet although I don't think that. I'll probably look like a beached whale in no time."

She pouted her lips.

"Believe me Kate motherhood will look good on you. I'm the baby whisperer I can already tell you're a pro."

She chuckled

"Yeah of course writer man!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I told you the curry would be amazing." The writer smiled widely while pulling Kate closer into his side, eager to have her as close as possible.

The detective pressed herself in his side, somehow she was so cuddly today.

"Yeah you were right."

Walking back to her car Kate suddenly felt gale rising up her esophagus. Disentangling herself from Castle she bolted into the next alley only to run into a physical fight between 2 guys she hadn't noticed as she emptied her stomach into the container.

"Gross!" Someone shouted in a disgusted tone and Kate turned around only to see 2 guys 6'10'' standing across her looking rather angry.

"Sorry." She quickly responded and left quickly without them noticing following her as Rick ran into her.

"Kate here are you. Are you feeling better?"

She nodded and engulfed him in a hug.

The writer saw the two angry men approaching and grabbed Kate and dragged her out of the alley.

"Kate let's go. There are two not very pleasant looking men approaching us we should get going."

His voice sounded frightened.

She quickly turned around and hastened out the alley with Castle in tow.

"You're so lucky I always am there to help you out of sticky situations."

He told with her with a smug smile as both of them were on their way back to the 12th.

"Castle I am so lucky. You're my knight in shining armor. You're chivalrous and generous, a dream come true." The irony in her voice could not be overheard but the writer's chest swelled at her words.

She laughed.

"I told you I am a keeper."

He sounded smug again.

"That you are Castle, that you are."

And she couldn't help but laughing as he puffed off her eyes swiftly drifting to Castle.

A moment to much because the next thing that she could see were another car coming directly towards her and Castle's high pitched scream before everything went black.

Don'T worry i won't kill them off ;)

If you liked this chapter leave me a review i live for reviews the always light up my days 3


	9. Chapter 9

Hey peeps chapter 9 for y'all. I hope you like it and bear with me if there are a few grammar mistakes in it :)

x serena

As Rick Castle stirs he thinks he's underwater. Everything, every single noise felt a 1000 miles away, he can hardly comprehend anything. The voices he's hearing seem to be communicating with him, speaking to him, trying to get an answer from him. Everything sounds frantic, panicked and rushed. Someone grabs his shoulders and pulls him from away from where he currently is. His arm hurts he can feel a throbbing pain that dulls his whole right side. Someone is shining a bright light into his eyes.

"He's coming back."

Castle opens his eyes noticing he is laying on a gurney and there is an ambulance.

What has happened?

The writer catches a glance of a car, a crushed car.

They were in the car, Kate and him. And suddenly everything went black.

Kate! Where was Kate?

Castle looks frantically around and feels someone pulling on his jacket.

An EMT comes into his sight

"Sir stay still you had an accident. Can you tell me your name?"

Castle sits up, the pain in his head is fading quickly and he feels more conscious.

"Richard Castle. My girlfriend was with me in the car, she was driving."

The EMT nods.

"Okay Mister Castle it looks like you have a severe cut in your arm which we need to sew. Otherwise you show no signs of a concussion, you were very lucky."

Castle nodded and got frantic as he looked around and couldn't find Kate.

"Mister Castle please follow us to the Ambulance. My colleague will stitch your arm wound afterwards you're fine."

He tried to guide Castle towards the ambulance but the writer didn't move a bit.

"Where is Kate? Where is she?"

The EMT bit his lower lip. "She is still stuck in the car, we can't get her out. The fire brigade needs to cut her out of the car. She is still unconscious."

"I need to see her."

"No Mister Castle you should get your wound checked."

Castle's voice got very insistent.

"I need to see her."

The EMT relented and guided Castle towards the car wreck in which Kate was stuck.

And they couldn't get her out.

The writer swallowed and spurted towards the detective.

He couldn't make out where she was. It all seemed like a huge mess and he couldn't make out Kate.

Wait she was driving she had to be behind the steering wheel.

The writer came closer to the car wreck and found Kate's head laying bleeding on the steering wheel, her face in his direction but her eyes were closed and a piece of steel seemed to have caused a gash on her temple.

Castle chocked back a sob.

Kate was stuck in the car, the door on her side was dented and the front of the car as well. Her legs were definitely stuck in the car and her car seat had somewhat loosened out of his fixture and seemed to be crushing her as she lay there unconscious on the steering wheel. The writer couldn't tell if she was breathing, he got closer to the wreck and gently caressed Kate's hair.

"Kate I'm here. Stay strong! You will be fine. You both will be fine."

Tears were running down Castle's face now and he began sobbing.

The EMT gently guided him away from the wreck.

"Mr. Castle we need to get your wound checked and the fire fighters have arrived to cut her out of the wreck."

Castle nodded and went with the EMT to get his wound stitched, when he was finished he hastened back to the wreck where they had nearly finished cutting Kate out of the wreck. Her body looked bruised and her left arm was in a peculiar position.

2 EMTs were already waiting with a gurney to place her on as soon as she was freed.

He went to them. "How did this happen?"

"It seems as another car hit your car frontal on the driver's side. It was a ghost driver. The driver of the other car was dead immediately."

Castle nodded.

"She's pregnant. Kate she's pregnant."

The EMTs got keen –eared. "Pregnant sir? How far along is she?"

"We don't know. We just found out about it a few days ago."

Both EMTs nodded. "We'll do our best."

The writer had tears running down his cheeks again. "It's bad that she is unconscious right?"

The EMTs avoided his stare.

"It depends. It at least numbs the pain she is in."

The writer nodded.

Kate was now freed and he immediately bolted towards her but was hold back by the EMTs.

"Sir you can sit with her in the ambulance. Wait back there and let us get her safely into the ambulance."

Castle nodded and moved back, watching how they gently put neck stabilizer on her delicate neck lifted her out of the car onto the gurney.

Rick came closer and immediately stroked her left cheek lightly with his palm.

"It's going to be fine Kate."

No response. Her eyes were still closed and she was so pale she almost looked like a ghost.

"Sir let's get her to the ambulance and to the hospital. You can ride along."

XXXXXXXXXXX

"It seems as her left arm is broken and she probably has a concussion and a few broken ribs."

Castle nodded and stroked Kate's right hand gently with his palm while holding onto it for dear life at the same time.

"They will do an ultrasound at the hospital to see if the baby is ok but there is no bleeding. So it seems everything is fine."

Rick nodded and pressed a kiss to Kate's hand.

XXXXXXXXXXX

"Sir step back please we need to assess her. You can wait in the waiting room. We'll come to you as soon as we have news."

Castle was shoved to side and stood there motionless in the hallway as Kate was being wheeled away. A nurse guided him to the waiting area where he said down unable to do anything else than fixing his eyes on the door where the doctor would come out bearing news about Kate's condition.

40 min later someone called out for Kate Beckett's family.

The writer immediately hastened towards the doctor.

"I'm her partner. How is she?"

"Miss Beckett is stable now. Her left arm is broken and is being fixed in surgery as we speak. She has a thoracic contusion that is not that bad and will probably be gone in 1-2 weeks. And the baby is fine as well."

Castle exhaled deeply and hugged the doctor.

"Thank you so much!"

The doctor gently loosened Castle's grip on her.

"She will be brought to room 231 once we finish the surgery which should be in about 20 min. She will probably come around again in 1-2 hours once the anesthesia has faded."

Rick nodded and the doctor walked away.

He had to contact Ryan and Espo. And Gates. And his mother and Alexis. And oh god, Kate's dad.

The writer checked his pocket, fished out his phone and saw 7 missed calls from Espo and Ryan. Shoot.

"Esposito."

"Espo it's Castle."

"God Castle where are you? We have been trying to reach you or Beckett for 1 hour because you didn't check in with us."

"We're in the hospital. Car accident. Kate is still in surgery, Espo. We got hit by a ghost driver and Kate got the full blow cause she was driving the car."

He could feel Esposito blanching throughout the phone.

"We're on our way. Which hospital are you in?"

"Manhattan general. 2nd floor. Bring Lanie and tell Gates."

"We'll be there asap."

30 min a frantic Lanie, Espo and Ryan arrived in the waiting area immediately hastening towards Castle.

"Castle!" Lanie's keen voice penetrated the writer's thoughts and he looked up seeing the ME sitting down next to her.

"She is going to be fine. Apparently she has a thoracic contusion, a concussion, a broken arm but otherwise she will be fine."

All exhaled loudly.

"Thank god!" Espo exclaimed and set down next to Castle's other side.

"Rick where is she?"

"They're finishing up her surgery and will get us when we can see her."

Everybody nodded and sat down on the chairs.

"Castle what happened?" Ryan's voice was seemingly quiet.

The writer sighed deeply.

"We were on our way back to the precinct, Beckett was driving and somehow a ghost driver hit us on her side. Then everything went black. I woke up on a gurney and got my arm stitched and Beckett was nowhere to be found. The car was dented at her side so they had to wait for the fire fighters to cut her out of the car wreck."

Lanie gasped and grabbed Epso's hand.

"She was unconscious when I saw here, she wasn't moving Lanie. She was still unconscious when we arrived here."

Lanie gave him a hug.

"Castle's everything's gonna be fine."

"Javi, Ryan can get Castle and I something to drink?"

Both detectives nodded and went away.

"Castle did they say anything about the baby?"

Lanie's voice was hesistant.

Castle swallowed.

"Baby's fine apparently."

Lanie exhaled happily.

"Thank god. And you and Kate?"

Castle lifted his gaze and smiled at her.

"We're fine. We're together now, at least I think we are."

Lanie's face lit up. And slapped his uninjured arm.

"About time writer boy! I was getting worried."

Castle chuckled.

Someone cleared their throat.

"Mr. Castle? You can see Miss Beckett now. 4 visitors at a time and she is in Room 231. We also contacted her emergency contact Jim Beckett but nobody answered the phone. Maybe you can reach him somehow."

Castle nodded and waived Epso and Ryan to them as the nurse left.

"We can see her now!"

"I never saw her look that small in my life before. The gash on her temple looks bad."

Espo commented as they caught a glance of Kate but nobody said anything else.

The atmosphere in Kate's room seemed somehow numbing, everyone somehow lost their voice as they positioned themselves around Kate's bed. Watching the Detective warily for any sign of her waking up.

20 minutes later Gates called and ordered Ryan and Espo to come back to the 12th and report to her.

Only Lanie and Castle were left and it seemed as Kate was beginning to wake up. Her eyelids twitched and you could see the lines on her face making a frown. Gasping she opened her eyes trying to sit up immediately but Lanie quickly held her back.

"Kate! You're ok. Stay calm." The Detective immediately relaxed when seeing her best friend.

She tried to say something but her throat was dry as the sahara desert.

Lanie immediately gave her something to drink while Castle still sat mesmerized and unmoving on his chair.

"Better. Thanks Lanie!"

Lanie kissed her forehead.

"I'm so glad you're ok Kate. You shocked all of us to the bone, especially Castle here."

Kate now turned her gaze to Castle.

"Rick I'm so sorry. It was my fault." Her eyes filled with tears of guilt.

Castle snapped out of his traumatized state and immediately calmed her down and placing her fragile hand in his.

"Kate it's not. A ghost driver hit us on your side. You had to get cut out of the car I was so scared." He closed his eyes and gave her a kiss on her knuckles.

Lanie cleared her throat as both of them hadn't noticed the doctor coming in.

"Miss Beckett I am glad to see you awake. How are you feeling?"

"Tired and nauseous and my arm and chest hurts."

"We can't give you any heavy pain killers due to the pregnancy. Which I would like to talk to you about."

Castle sat up straighter and Kate got a worried look on her face.

"Is something wrong?"

"You're baby is fine but we're worried about the effect the crash had on your uterus. You were nearly crushed by your seat so I would like you stay bed ridden for at least 1 week ok? Just to make sure everything is fine. Afterwards you can just check in with your normal OB."

Kate nodded.

"We performed an ultrasound at you arrival to determine if your baby is fine and everything looks good for 13 weeks."

Kate gasped. "13 weeks?"

The doctor nodded. "You seem to appear 13 weeks along but of course our OB can do a more thorough ultrasound today if you want since the first one was rather hectic.

Castle squeezed her hand.

Kate nodded.

"I'd like that please."

"I have another thing to address. It concerns your weight. You seem to be underweight and all your vitamin levels are at the bottom most low. "

Castle and Lanie both gasped but Kate's glance wandered to her knees not being able to look any in the eyes.

"I was just nauseous all the time."

The doctor noted her hesitancy. "I'll inform the OB, she will come to you in an hour or so. Otherwise we can release you this evening given that you stay with someone during the course of your bed rest and follow everything the OB says. And if you have any signs of severe nausea or you're feeling dizzy please come back immediately."

Kate nodded and the doctor left the room.

The detective could barely lift her head to afraid of Lanie and Castle's hurtful glances.

She was underweight. She could have guessed she was based on her weight loss but it didn't seem quite real back then. Now it did.

Castle slowly took her hand in his.

"Kate you'll stay with me during your bed rest." His voice was determined.

"Castle I can stay by myself. It's no problem. I'm a big girl."

Just as Castle was about to say something back Lanie interrupted.

"Girl you stay with writer boy and let him feed you healthy stuff to get your skinny body back to it's old glorious physique you understand me?"

Kate nodded, knowing it was pointless to argue with Lanie.

Lanie said goodbye to them and went back to the morgue with the promise of coming back later today or tomorrow.

Castle nodded Kate's sad look in her eyes and slowly lifted her chin with his fingers.

"Kate why didn't you tell me that the morning sickness is that bad?"

She huffed. "Castle we weren't exactly communicating 6 days ago. And I'd only known for 6 days. So I thought it'll pass."

The writer closed his eyes.

"Touché."

Kate shifted in her bed making space for Castle who joined her eagerly and put both his arms around her as she placed her head in the crook of his neck content to just be with him.

Her torso still hurt and Castle immediately gave her a worrying glance when she winced a few times due to the pain.

"Kate you'll stay with me for the bed rest right?"

Kate nodded and snuggled closer into Castle's side.

"I'll make your stay worthwile. We can watch movies, cuddle on the couch and I can give you massages."

Kate chuckled slightly but stopped when she thought of Martha and Alexis.

"Castle what will you say to Martha and Alexis?"

"I already told them you're pregnant. I'll…"

But Kate interrupted him.

"You already told them?" Her voice was accusatory.

"Kate my mother found you note and I told Alexis."

"Castle we don't even know how far along I am. At least not exactly."

"Kate I'm sorry but I had to tell them. I hate keeping secrets from them."

She nodded slightly. "What did they say? Alexis?"

He bit his lip trying to make up something. Both Alexis and his mother hadn't been all to happy about the fact that Beckett was pregnant with his child after the way she had hurt him with her lie. Especially Alexis.

"Ehhm they're fine with it." His voice sounded to hesitant.

"Castle, tell the truth." Her voice was pungent.

"Alexis is not that excited but I am sure she will warm up to the idea. She is not that fond of you atm.

Kate swallowed deeply.

"Castle I can stay with my dad or Lanie. I don't want to impose on your household if Alexis is so hesitant towards me."

"No Kate please stay with me. Alexis will come around I promise."

"You need to ask her first before I would come with you."

Castle bit his lip.

"I still need to call them."

Kate sat up emitting winces.

"Kate!"

"Castle call them now. Please tell them you're ok."

He nodded and gave her quick kiss on the mouth.

"I'll be right back."

She nodded and closed her eyes feeling darkness overtake her once again today.


	10. Chapter 10

Richard Castle exited Kate's room as quiet as he could and closed the door behind him. In the hallway he exhaled deeply and searched for the cafeteria to call his family when he was outside. He felt as if he was suffocating in the stuffy hospital air that somehow seemed to cloud his mind, clouded his thoughts.

Once he was outside and felt a slight breeze run over his exposed skin the writer felt much more at ease. His body visibly relaxed and he plummeted down onto the next bench dialling his landline in hope that both Alexis and his mother would be there.

"Alexis Castle speaking."

"Pumpkin!"

"Dad hey why are you calling on the landline?"

"Alexis is your grams in near proximity I want to talk to you two."

He could hear his daughter summoning his mother.

"Dad you're on speakerphone."

"Mother, Alexis please promise me you two won't freak out but I had a car accident earlier today."

Both women gasped in shock.

"Dad, are you okay?" His daughter's voice was brittle.

"Pumpkin I'm fine. Beckett and I were on our way back to the precinct when a ghost driver hit us. I'm fine no scratch on me."

Alexis exhaled loudly.

"Dad thank god! I am so glad you're fine."

His mother agreed with Alexis.

"How is Detective Beckett, Richard?" Martha's voice was reluctant.

"I'll be home in a few hours but Kate got the full blow of the accident and has now been ordered to stay on bed rest for the next 10 days. I want to her to do that at the loft. Her doctor said she should stay with someone since she is not really allowed to move and her father isn't answering his phone and Lanie mostly works. Would that be okay with you two?"

To be honest Castle was afraid of what Alexis would say.

"Oh god Richard what do you mean with Katherine got the full blow? Details son! Is she fine?"

Rick quickly had to reassure his mother:

"Mother, she is fine except a broken arm, concussion and a thoracic contusion. And she is at risk of having a miscarriage due to uterine bruising or something that's why she should stay in bed. So to put it in a nutshell she is basically not fine."

Martha and Alexis now both gasped.

"Richard of course is it okay if you bring her. The poor girl."

"Pumpkin? Your answer? If you don't want to she can stay with her dad or Lanie but we couldn't reach her dad as of now as I already told you but Alexis I really want her to stay with us."

He tried not to sound too pushy.

"Of course she can stay with us Dad. But don't"

"Don't what pumpkin?"

"Don't let that excuse her lie dad"

"Alexis that is something completely different, I already forgave her. I also did things that hurt her so we're even."

"I know but Dad you always get different around her, trying to impress her somehow, please stay true to yourself when she is here" Her voice was reserved and it made Castle's chest awfully tight. How did his baby girl even notice that?

"Ok so it's ok if I bring her home in 2 hours? She won't bother you too much since she is bed ridden so her universe will most likely circuit around the couch and the bed"

"Dad I'm ok with that"

He exhaled loudly. Thank god!

"Richard shall we prepare some food when you come home with her? It has probably been an exhausting day for you both"

"Mother that would be nice but please order in or let Alexis cook so it is edible in the end."

He could hear Alexis chuckle on the other end of the line

"Fine, fine!" His mother added and he could imagine her throwing her hands in the air. Crazy woman

Richard exhaled, content that both his redheads were okay with him brining Kate.

"And can you put new sheets on my bed?"

"Is a certain detective sleeping in your room?" His mother added in an indecent voice that only led him to role his eyes at her.

"Mother I am going to give her my bed. It's much more comfortable" God this woman

"Oh darling you're such a gentleman!" Martha added in a delighted voice.

Castle rolled his eyes again.

"Love you daddy!" Alexis taut voice replied as they were about to end their call.

"Pumpkin I love you too! You'll always be my number 1 never forget that!"

Kate's asleep when he enters; the detective has a peaceful and serene expression on her face that causes Castle to smile. She looked so content and relaxed.

He sits down on a chair and watches her sleep while his thoughts drift away, thinking about the future. Kate's and his future. With the baby and Alexis and everyone.

Dozing off the OB awakes him telling him she can examine Kate now.

Castle gently wakes up to Kate's bed and bends over her sleeping form to lightly ghosts kisses over her lips and both her eyelids causing Kate's eyelids to flutter and smile widely when she catches sight of him. He kisses her on her mouth again, slowly and coy. Kate huffs due to supressed laughter and begins to yawn lightly, stretching her torso.

Castle watches her amazed being captivated by how cute the detective's waking up process is.

"Kate the doctor is here to look at you and the baby." His voice is now a tiny bit more serious.

Kate nods and rubs her eyes again, her vision becoming clearer and more awake.

The doctor steps closer and rolls a huge machine next to the detective.

"Miss Beckett I am going to perform an ultrasound to see how the baby is doing."

Kate simply nods still very out of it.

"OMG Kate, look at our baby." Castle sounded like a little boy on Christmas morning, high on sugar and bursting of joy.

"Mhm" she adds in a slightly groggy voice. Her brain is still a bit fuzzy and the goo on her stomach is cold as hell.

The writer glances over to her while clutching her hand so hard she is pretty sure her bones touch. His expression is a mix of aww and wonder, looking at her as if she is giving him the best Christmas present ever. She kind of felt out of place, zooming out. Castle was looking at her in a way she didn't know she could give him back. His look promised her the world but she somehow couldn't give it to him. He could. She was the broken one.

Castle snapped her out of her depressed thoughts.

"Kate! Did you hear the heartbeat? It's so fast!"

His eyes were glistening. She simply nodded.

"Yeah crazy huh?"

As much as she loved Castle she yearned for her mother to have been here with her. Holding her hand, giving her advice about how not go crazy. How to raise a child. She didn't know how to raise a child. Raise anything to be honest. All her goldfish in college had gone belly up on the third day. Kate felt she wasn't really cut out to be a mother.

She vaguely registered the grainy screen with the distorted image of their child; the child that was growing within her.

The pregnancy had not really made its way into Kate's reality. She knew she was pregnant but simply didn't put much thought to it. To be honest hardly any if Castle didn't mention it. It was a somehow abstract concept as if the child was not hers but Castle's alone. He was going to be a father again but she didn't really know if she was ready to be a mother without her mother to guide her.

"Miss Beckett?" The doctor's voice snapped Kate out of her trance.

"Are you ok?" Kate nodded and added she was just a bit dizzy.

"I'd like to explain to you the consequences of the accident. So as you may now you have major bruises to your uterine wall, which could in the worst-case scenario lead to a miscarriage. You're already in your second trimester so the risk of that happening are very low. Despite that the risk is still there and I want you to stay on bed rest for the next 10 days to eliminate any chance of a miscarriage."

Kate nods her head.

"I'm okay with that."

"Great so the bed rest is very strict meaning you're only allowed to take baths and walk to the bathroom and back. Every single additional walk is dangerous for the baby, ok?"

Again the Detective nods.

Castle's brow furrows quizzically : "Wouldn't it be easier if I would just carry her everywhere?"

"In your dreams Castle. That won't happen." Kate adds in a coy voice.

"You know my deepest desires dear Kate!" He adds in a lustful, passionate voice.

Kate lightly slaps him on the chest and her OB can't help but chuckle.

"Ok Miss Beckett we now need to talk about your weight and nutrition: all your vitamins are at the bottom most low, meaning you diet is far to unbalanced; what do you eat on a regular basis? Tell me most of the food you eat a day so we can establish where you are missing nutrients in your meals."

Kate follows her orders.

"Breakfast?"

"Coffee"

"and?"

"sometimes a bear claw"

"no fruit or yogurt or anything else?" The doctor looks at her with a quizzical look in her eyes.

Kate has to disappoint her:

"No I'm to busy in the morning."

This whole conversation makes Castle worry. He knew she was a bad eater but no breakfast?!

"Lunch?"

"Today I had indian food but other than that I'll sometimes just grab something with castle here; remy's mostly or chinese takeout or a candy bar from or vending machine at work."

"Snacks?"

"hardly any maybe my m&ms from time to time"

"dinner?"

"Only sometimes if I get home early so maybe 2 times a week."

"What do you eat then?"

"Take out: mostly Asian food; I hate to cook I'm bad at it so I never make meals myself."

Castle is a little bit overwhelmed by all this information. Was Kate just a bad eater or was more behind her weird eating habits?

The doctor finished:

"Okay I can tell by your eating schedule that you're under eating you consume around like maybe 800-1100 calories; in your pregnancy stage you should eat around 2800 calories a day so your missing quite a bunch of calories. Try to implement more vegetables and fruit in your diet; you could use at least 15 pounds as of right now. Your BMI calculations tell us your underweight so you should stack up on your calorie intake."

Kate grimaces and contorts her face

"I don't know if I can eat that much a day; that seems too much won't I gain weight really quickly if I boost up my calorie intake so drastically?"

"You're going to gain pounds anyway Kate due to your pregnancy; after the bed rest simply begin to work out, not to strenuous, and all the weight you gain during pregnancy should drop off fairly quickly after giving birth."

"What do you mean with fairly? I mean I won't need to gain that much right?"

"You seem a little obsessed with weight as it seems. But you should gain around 20-30 lbs normally but since you're underweight it can go up to 45lbs and still be normal."

Kate gasps.

"Oh kay that seems a little bit too much."

"Every doctor will tell you the same."

Kate doesn't respond.

Castle now gets concerned about her eating habits and obsession with weight. Wasn't it clear to her that she would gain weight during the pregnancy?

The doctor simply continued:

"Any other symptoms you want to discuss?"

Rick nudges her

"Your nausea or not?"

"Nausea is completely normal castle, remember I looked it up online."

Rick ignores that statement.

"Apparently Kate can't keep anything down right Kate?

She rolls her eyes.

"It's not that bad Castle." She added trying to sound nonchalant as if the nausea was no big deal.

"Not that bad? You got underweight due to constant vomiting and you bolt to the toilet when you smell any weird odor." The writer's tone was accusatory and he sat up straighter while exclaiming this.

The doctor looks concerned.

"Mister Castle I am fairly sure she was underweight before the nausea started. But still are you constantly nauseous?"

Kate nods

"It's not that bad to be honest, I mean I can't keep anything down but it's normal right?"

"Elaborate"

Kate doesn't want to but Castle eyes are fixed on her.

"I can't keep much down and sometimes wake up only to vomit immediately when I leave the bed. But it's not that bad. I don't mind it."

The doctor shoots her a worried glance

"It could be that we're dealing with a case of hypermesis gravidarum which is a form of extreme morning sickness in pregnancy but very rare it should fade at the end of the 1st trimester, where you currently are in your pregnancy, but I still would consider to administer medication to you if its that bad."

Kate nods

"It's not that bad and if it'll fade now I can stay away from the meds. I hate taking meds in general."

"Kate get the meds. It really takes a toll on you I witnessed it myself."

"For your information the nausea doesn't vanish from the meds it simply appeases the nausea a bit."

"See Castle not worth it."

The writer sits down in his chair and is silent.

"When you have your next appointment with your OB simply mention it to her and that you're taking medicine for it. You should see her once your bed rest is over so I would say in around 10 days."

Kate nods.

"I mean I can try to make out an appointment but she is always very booked."

She bits herself on the lip.

"Who is your OB?"

'"Dr Karenin"

"I know her in person I'll call her to get you an appointment in 10 days."

"Thank you!"

10 min later Kate got the exact date and time for her appointment.

"I'll send a nurse over to discharge you in a bit and hope to never see you here agin except for giving birth. Good luck!"

Kate thanks her doctor briefly hardly aware of anything that she is saying. She is too engrossed in a certain mystery writer.

Both partners cuddle a bit in her bid, with Castle is trying to hold her closer than he possibly can. To tuck her away inside him and never let her get hurt again. To protect her and their little one.

"Rick why are you so clingy?" Kate says in a sleepy voice while rubbing her eyes with her left hand.

He turns her head towards him and kisses her forehead and cuddles closer.

"Just wanna keep you safe darling."

"You do know that I have a gun right?" Kate says in a rather amused tone.

He chuckles. Only she could ruin a cute moment like that.

"Yes, yes I know." He answers while trying to supress laughter. God this women, he loved her so much.

A gentle knock on the door startles them both and Kate starts to compose herself and smooth out her shirt when Rick hadn't even said get in yet.

A young nurse entered the room rather timidly.

"Miss Beckett I'm nurse Marie and I am here to get you discharged. I just need you to sign here"

Kate does and the nurse leaves them.

"What was wrong with her?" Kate asks curiously.

"Maybe I intimated her." Rick says with a neanderthal proud swollen breast.

"I mean I am a best selling author."

She slaps him lightly on his chest.

"Deflate you ego big boy we need to get out of here."

Both get up and Kate notices her shirt is torn that she had on before the accident.

It hardly covers her stomach and breast due to a huge rip in the middle.

The Detective sighs.

"Castle my shirt is ripped." She sounds annoyed.

"It wasn't me I swear." He tries to look serious while he ogles her.

"Castle I can't go out like that."

"Oh right wait"

He strips out of his sweater only standing there with his shirt which delightfully moved up and exposed his tanned abs.

Kate's heart started to beat a little faster.

"Take my sweater. I'm hot anyway." He smirks.

Rolling her eyes she quickly puts his sweater on and feels like she is about to faint when she can smell Rick's smell, perfume or toner or whatever in the sweater.

She inhales again, deeply this time. Trying to absorb as much of his scent as possible.

The sweatshirt was too big for her and nearly swallowed her whole frame and Rick has to surpass a chuckle.

"What?" She gave him on of her detective Beckett glances.

"It's too big for you but you look absolutely adorable in my clothes. I have to admit that. You should wear them all the time in fact." His eyes are sparkling and the spark immediately sparks over to her when she first sees it in his eyes.

"I could stretch them out you know…" She adds in a husky voice.

"He laughs again. I'll doubt it babe but we have to go. Mother and Alexis are waiting with food. Good food hopefully."

She smirks. "Didn't you say Alexis was an amazing cook?"

"Yeah she kinda is. She definitely got that from my side."

She laughs again and gets out of bed and is eager to leave her room when Castle holds her back.

"Kate your on bed rest you shouldn't walk." His tone is serious.

"Castle I'll be fine."

"I'm carrying you or a wheelchair." His glance was stern.

"Fine get me a wheelchair." She rolls her eyes once again.

Situated in the wheelchair he constantly leans over her and blows raspberry kisses on her neck that has Kate giggling all the way out of the hospital.

"Dear Detective brace yourself the easy part is over. Now we have to face the redheads."

"May the odds be in our favour Mister Castle." She adds in a witty voice and seals it with a kiss.

"As you say so madam."

Hey peeps i hope you liked that chapter.! If yes let me know in form of a review, follow or favorite since these absolutely brighten my day in this dull december weather :P

xx serena


	11. Chapter 11

Happy new year! Sorry for the long wait but finals and the holidays took all my time :/

Expect the next update next week since I am going back to college on Saturday and have 8 hours to write on the plane ride ;)

Rate and Review 3

Xx serena

Chapter 11

Kate is somehow embarrassed which is painfully obvious by the redness of her face and the chuckle she gives when they get into a taxi to her place. Castle smiles. He loves seeing this site of Kate, the carefree and happy side.

The taxi ride is uneventful but she refuses his offer of him carrying her up to her place with one of her iconic eye rolls and he pouts.

"Beckett you shouldn't walk. Bed rest."

"I'm not gonna have you humiliate me in front of my neighbours. It's on the second floor Rick. I won't die."

He finally relents.

He nearly strides into her place as soon as she unlocked the door.

"You're going to sit on the bed and rest while I pack you back."

She shakes her head. He shakes it too. They shake both their heads until he finally relents.

"Fine but Kate you should rest."

She chuckles.

"Rick I'm packing an overnight bag it's hardly overexerting myself."

He smiles as he observes her packing in all her shirts and pants and finally decides to interrupt her as she packs up all her makeup.

"Kate you do know you're on bed rest and you basically only have to wear pjs and no makeup?"

She shoots him a glare.

"I need my stuff Castle. I can't run around looking like a homeless person a little bit effort is required and I love my makeup. I need it."

He raises his hands in defeat.

"Fine, fine I give up. I'm calling the car service now it'll take them 10 minutes or so to get her is that ok with you?"

She nods.

In the car:

Kate has Castle's hands clutched between hers and feels her sudden high from before fade rapidly. Her headache is coming back and the throbbing in her arm and torso seems to intensify by the minute. And she was scared. Scared as hell about Martha and Alexis's reactions and the dinner afterwards and the whole bed rest and staying with Castle. It could all blow up in their faces.

Castle tensed how stiff her body next to him had become and cuddled her closer, gently tugging a strand of hair behind her ear and graciously lifting her chin a bit so she could look him in the eye.

"Kate why are you so tense? Nervous?"

"Rick I am nervous; really nervous. What if this all blows up in our face? I am scared about the bed rest and I don't know."

He hugs her even closer.

"It's going to be ok. I promise. Alexis and mother will welcome you with open arms."

"You think so?"

She timidly looks up to him and only gets a reassuring smile in response.

He gently kisses the tip of her nose.

"I am sure. And know stop worrying."

Before they even entered his loft Kate had his hand even stronger clutched into hers and she could feel her palms starting to sweat. Shit she was going to face Castle's family now.

Upon entering the door they were immediately greeted by Martha.

"Darling you're home and you look fine thank god!"

She rushes over to hug him while Kate stands awkwardly around, having let go of Castle's hand. She is not quite sure what to do and looks around the loft but nothing catches her attention.

Until Martha does.

The redhead is smiling at her and extends her arms to her as if he wanted to embrace her.

"and you brought Katherine with you how lovely!"

Kate smiles timidly.

"Hi Martha."

The actress winks at her and moves even closer to Kate.

"Oh come here you" and she hugs her as well.

She puts both arms around her and somehow manages to snatch Rick into the embrace as well.

"I have to say I was shocked and very worried when I got the call from Richard that you had an accident but you look fine from what I can see thank god."

Both smile while Alexis comes down from her room and immediately runs into Castle's arm while Martha goes into the kitchen with Kate.

"Katherine I can see you're tense and probably feel awkward but I just wanted to tell you that we all want you here. Especially Richard. He sounded so worried about you on the phone. Tell me everything."

Martha's gaze was serious and she looked more worried as she did before.

"Thanks Martha I really appreciate it. I don't remember much but a ghost driver hit us on my side and I am so sorry I didn't manage to get out of the way. I can never apologize enough for that."

Kate bits down on her lip but looks the older woman directly into the eyes.

"Darling it was an accident and a ghost driver. I am sure you did everything you could considering you had three lives to consider in your car."

Kate nods.

"Oh yeah guess so. I'm fine but I got put on bed rest sadly."

"For how long exactly? Richard really didn't tell us for how long when we talked on the phone."

"10 days. Then I have to get a check up and have the doctor give me an all clear to work again."

"10 days of lounging around? At least you have Richard to keep you company. What about your arm?"

She gestures towards the plaster.

"Broken sadly. It will take 4 weeks to heal."

"Oh poor dear…" At that moment the water begins to spill out of the pot and Martha runs towards it.

"Oh hot hot hot." She fills it in a bowl through a strainer which Kate holds. The Detective can feel her headache getting worse and her ribs hurt painfully whenever she inhales. She grits her teeth. The accident wasn't as easily forgotten and she hadn't escaped as unscathed as she tried to convey to everyone.

"Are you alright?" Martha sounds worried and Kate could slap herself mentally for drawing attention upon her.

Kate nods.

"It's nothing."

She sounds harsh but Martha seems to buy it and answers with a smile and padding her shoulder.

Castle and Alexis are walking into the kitchen:

"You're all set there?"

"Darling just sit down we'll be there in a sec with the food."

Both Castle and his daughter continue their intense talk about ghost drivers and accidents not noticing Martha and Kate approaching with the food.

Kate offers to carry the bowl of noodles and the salad while Martha got the sauce and the vegetables.

They carry it towards the table and Kate nearly drops it over the table due to dizziness and winces which has Castle immediately getting up and taking the bowls from her hands.

"You're not supposed to carry anything. Are you alright?" He looks worried

"Sorry"

"Are you fine?"

"Yes all good."

His brow furrows quizzically while she sits down.

They eat and Alexis has them retelling her the accident again which Kate is not that quite comfortable about.

"Detective Beckett?"

"Kate, you can call me Kate Alexis"

The redhead continues her question

"Kate did you see the ghost driver coming towards you?"

"No I didn't. I saw him too late and tried to manoeuvre out as best as I could so your dad wouldn't get hit.."

He gasps

"You did what?"

"I tried to protect you so you wouldn't get the full force of the accident Castle."

She says it with confidence.

"Kate you should have done the opposite. I'm not pregnant. I could have taken it. Not you."

He looks worrisome at her.

"Rick I'm not going to apologize for that it was a spur of the moment thing and you can't blame me for wanting to keep you safe."

"Kate you're and the baby's safety is much more important than mine."

"No."

"Darling," his mother intervenes, "As far as I get it Katherine would rather get hurt than let anybody hurt you. And you're safety is as important as hers and the baby's."

Alexis nods vehemently.

Rick relents.

"Still Kate I was so scared when they had to cut you out of the car and you were unresponsive and I thought you were dead."

Everyone stares at Kate.

"You had to get cut of the car?" Alexis asks in shock.

The Detective bits her lip again.

"I don't remember it. But I guess that happened. I am fine though."

Castle gets agitated.

"Beckett you shouldn't play the accident and your injuries down. The bed rest is sign enough that you were injured and need to rest and heal."

"Rick it's bed rest I am going to manage." She rolls her eyes.

"Besides dad, you can keep her company. We can do movie nights or spa days and you can cook for Kate. I'll bet it will be fun."

Kate smiles at Alexis and Castle bumps his daughters shoulder.

Martha wants to get the plates.

"Kate darling you hardly ate anything. Did it not taste?" She answers when she only sees Salad and a tiny bit of pasta on the detective's plate.

Rick looks to her.

"I'm nauseous that's why I couldn't stomach that much but I was delicious." She smiles at the older woman and ignores Rick's glance towards her.

They could talk when they would be alone.

And from seeing his posture she could tell he wanted to talk later.

She dreaded it already.

In Rick's Bedroom:

Castle was already in bed while Kate changed in his closet not wanting him to see her bruises while she would put on her pjs.

She chose baggy clothes so no injury from the accident would be visible.

The Detective brushes her teeth while at the same time observing her figure closely in the mirror.

She hadn't gotten fat yet, she could still feel the outline of her ribs. Thank god!

Kate let out a deep sigh of relief and put down her shirt and went to crawl into bed with Rick.

He smirks when he sees her crawling into _their_ bed. She was so beautiful he couldn't believe he had this extraordinary woman in his bed. His arms.

She snuggled into his arms and put her head in the crook of his neck absorbing his strength and getting calm and relaxed at the same time.

Beckett loved being in his arms.

He gently kissed the top of her head and arranged Kate's position in a way that she could sit in the vee of his legs.

Once she was settled he laced is arms under breast and got her as close as possible. Needing her close after today's horrible events.

Their breathing evened out and Castle addressed the elephant in the room.

"Um Kate? Can we talk about the fact that you tried to get full force by the driver so I wouldn't get the blow?"

She sighed and kissed his biceps.

"Castle I loved you." Her voice was shaky." But I can't have anything happen to you."

"Kate I can't have anything happen to you." He put his hands on her stomach.

"Especially since there are two of you."

His voice is laced with fear and Kate could again slap herself for causing him so much pain. She didn't want to. It was just how she was built. She was radioactive, always dragging people down with her and being toxic to them. She would never be enough for Castle.

"I'm sorry Rick."

He kisses her head.

"Apology accepted." He turns her a bit and begins to kiss her gently but breaking the kiss after a few minutes.

"Kate I just want you safe. Both of you."

She smiles at him with that gorgeous smile that literally blew him away and nodded.

"I'll try my best."

He buries his head in her hair and soaks up her scent.

He could never get enough of her.

They fell asleep intertwined both with a content smile apparent on their lips.

4.23am.

There was a scream. Several screams.

Richard Castle bolted upright in his bed frantically looking around for the source of the noise.

He padded the other side of the bed that was awfully cold and empty.

Panic rose in his chest and he frantically lifted all the comforters and pillows but It was without any results.

Kate was not in the bed anymore.


	12. Chapter 12

Hey peeps! This chapter is a result from my horrendous delay from Europe to New York where I am currently stuck at Vienna waiting for my 6 hour delayed flight :D

Hope you enjoy and leave me some feedback J

Chapter 12

A scream pierced through the eerie silence of the room and startled Castle.

It was Kate's scream. She sounded frantic and distressed. Gestresst?

Where was she?

Castle bolted out of the bed and looked around the room when another scream pierced through the air.

It came from next to the bed.

He quickly rounded the bed and found Kate lying on the floor in a peculiar position. It looked as she was in pain and tried to get away from someone. Her hands were balled to fists and she made noises as if someone was choking her and she was getting short of breath. A thin line of sweat had broken out on her hairline and tears were running down her cheeks.

Castle had never seen Kate quite in such a state, except her shooting. It pained him to watch her suffer and not being able to have prevented this. He hated for Kate to be in pain.

He was somehow in a catatonic state and startled as Kate now began to beg and scream at the same time and began to flail with her legs trying to get away from the imaginary source of her suffering.

She was pleading, begging the unknown assailant to let her live. It nearly broke his heart hearing her saying this.

Rick immediately bolted towards her and bent down crashing his knees down on the rug next to her. He quickly took both her one hand wary of the plaster on her other arm and tried to soothe her.

"Kate wake up honey. Kate! Kate!" His voice was quivering towards the end.

It didn't help.

"Kate! Wake up. You're fine. It's a dream!" This time he screamed and observed Kate stopping momentarily.

"Kate, Beckett, wake up! Please! Open your beautiful eyes for me." He was leaning closer towards her and gently kissed her forehead.

Beckett slowly opened her eyes and looked frantically around the room still panting. Rick gently grabbed her head and directed her glance to him and immediately saw relief flash in her eyes when she saw him. She threw himself in his arms and began to sob.

"Rick thank god you're here. I'm sorry." Her voice was somehow muffled due to her head being buried in the crook of his neck.

The writer gently caressed her back trying to soothe her.

"Kate it's fine. What are you sorry about?"

"Sorry about being so loud. I should sleep in another room."

His brow furrowed quizzically.

"Why that?"

"I don't want to wake you up in the middle of the night due to my stupid nightmares."

He startled.

"Kate, never apologize for that. I will do anything for you. Waking you up and comforting you after nightmares includes that."

He smirks when saying the last bit.

She looks at him with quizzical eyes and retreats from him and if she somehow got burned from him.

Her face wore a very strange expression, which was a mix of disbelief and confusion.

She huffs and lets her healthy hand fall on her lap.

"Why would you want to witness that? It's disturbing if I say so myself. I don't want to burden you with that as well."

He took her healthy hand in his.

"Kate I don't want you experience this and I want to help you to overcome that."

He looks her deeply in the eyes while brushing her tears gently away with his thumb which was her smiling in result.

"I want to know all you burdens, make them easier and help you get rid of them. Ya know sharing is caring."

She huffs laughably at this and smacks his chest lightly only to hug him again immediately afterwards.

"Thank you Rick. I, I don't deserve you you're too good for me."

He shakes his head.

"Never ever mention that again."

As Rick was no hugging her harder he could feel that she was still shivering and only panting slightly and decided to pick her up.

She snuggled into his arms and he placed her back on the bed and crawled in right beside her spooning he from behind and putting the comforter over them.

Gently putting his arms around her he interlaced their fingers and put his head in the crook of Kate's neck and inhaled her scent.

"You good ?"

She turns to kiss him in return.

"Now Kate, sleep tight. I'll be there to wake you when a nightmare dares to come back."

"Thank you."

"Always."

The slept for a few more hours until Kate's phone starts ringing and their eerie silence is disturbed by the metallic sounds.

Rick immediately groans but Kate picks up her phone.

"Beckett"

"Katie, it's me. How are you?"

"Oh hey dad, I'm fine."

Rick looks at her with a distraught glance and is shaking his head violently.

"Listen Katie is dinner still on for tonight?"

Oh shit she forgot about the dinner.

"Uhm Dad I've been placed on bed rest due to a little car accident. I'm at Castle's place right now. But it's not bad."

"OMG Katie why didn't you tell me when that happened? When was that? Are you hurt? Is Castle hurt?"

"Apparently the hospital tried to contact you but you had no reception up at the cabin so I figured it would be best to just wait until you're here again to tell you. It was 2 days ago. A ghost driver hit us. My arm is broken and the doctor has put me on bed rest. Castle's just fine and he offered me to stay here because I really can't do anything during the bed rest. I'm fine dad."

"God Katie, next time please tell me asap. You don't want to give your old man a heart attack?" He laughs a little.

"So I guess no dinner tonight?"

"Sadly no dad, but can we reschedule for in 5 days? That's when the bed rest is over."

"Sure Katie bug. And if anything happens or you're not feeling well or just want to talk call me 24/7."

"I'll do that dad. Bye love you."

"Love you too Katie!"

Beckett hung up sighing. She shook her head.

"What?"

"I should have called him yesterday right?"

Rick simply nods while Kate makes her way out of the bed.

"Kate where are you going? Stay in bed." He sounded whiny.

"Using the bathroom." She throws him a smile.

As she comes back out she sees Castle having quizzically furrowed his brow.

"Rick, what's wrong?" She asks while crawling under the covers.

"Haven't you told your dad you're pregnant yet?" He asks tentatively

She huffs and crawls further under the covers.

"No why would I you can't see anything yet."

Rick quickly replies.

"Kate is this a joke for you?" His voice is laced with anger.

"What?"

"The pregnancy and the baby. You treat it like you're not pregnant." Castle adds in an accusatory tone.

"I do not!"

"You do too."

She gets angry but Castle replies before she can.

"Yesterday you carried the bowls despite the fact that the doctor told you not to. You took the full hit of the accident and got underweight and still don't want to eat although it could harm the baby? It this a joke for you?! Cause it sure does seem like it is sometimes. Please tell me it's not."

She stood there with a slacked jaw

"How you dare say that?" Her voice was quivering now.

"You never talk about the pregnancy or the baby and when I want to discuss you always want to move on to the next topic."

"Castle it's not that I don't want to talk about it"

"Then what is it Kate? Worried you're becoming fat while checking yourself 10 times a day in a mirror? Is that more important than you and our baby's wellbeing?"

He knows he's being mean but he needs her to tell him the truth.

Tears shoot up in her eyes and she runs out of the bedroom towards the door.

"Kate!"

Castle is running behind her grabbing her by her healthy wrist to keep her from leaving.

"Let me go Castle."

"Kate we need to talk about this. I obviously pushed some buttons with my statements otherwise you wouldn't have reacted that way now."

She frees herself from his grasp.

"Kate stay here. You're on bed rest."

Really, the bed rest? That was the best he could come up with?

"Kate"

But Kate was already out the door in her pjs and bare feet and had shut the door behind her with a loud bang.

Castle immediately ran out and followed her only to notice that she had taken the elevator so he decided to run down the stairs to catch her when getting of the elevator.

He had just arrived as the doors of the elevators opened up and a sobbing Kate was about to walk out as she ran into Rick.

"Kate." His voice was laced with regret.

"I'm sorry about what I said."

"Should have thought sooner about that Castle."

She was about to exit the building but Castle blocked the door.

"Let me go. I'll stay with my dad for the bed rest."

His stare had now turned into ice.

"Kate there had to be something true about what you said otherwise you wouldn't have freaked out the way you did. Tell me please."

She ran her hands through her hair and began to shiver.

"I don't know. I mean I know that I'm pregnant but haven't it realised it yet. I think it'll take some time too adjust to it. And I can't imagine a baby from the two of us. It is so abstract to me I can hardly picture or think about it. Give me time Rick."

He engulfed her in a hug.

"Okay, Kate I can do that."

She tentatively lifted her head and whispered in his ear: "Do you already think I look fat?"

He shook his head laughing.

"Kate never ever could you even remotely look fat. That's like Star Wars not being the best film of all time. Impossible."

She laughed liked music and hugged him a little bit closer.

"I'm sorry I ran. I just had to get out there for a bit."

He nods.

"I'm sorry too. I never wanted to hurt you with that. I just got frustrated with you not taking this pregnancy seriously."

She nods.

"Want to go up again? You're shivering." He rubs her arms with the palm of his hands and gives her a small kiss on the forehead.

"Better?" She nods.

"What do you say about some well deserved breakfast? I can make you anything you want."

"Plain breakfast is just fine. I can eat an apple or something."

"Kate" He gently pads her stomach which makes her chuckle, "we have keep this little baby of ours well feed so it can grow into an awesome person. And we have to keep you upright and healthy for that as well."

She laughs again.

"Alright stud."

He swallows

"Let's make me some breakfast."

They entered the loft again and Rick could hear his mother singing from the outside.

"God." He buries his head in his hands.

"Come on stud buckle up. We can watch Star Wars after breakfast."

His face visibly lighted up and Kate couldn't help but laugh.

"Best girlfriend ever." He smacks her on the lips.

He opens the door for her

"My lady do you want to enter this humble about?

She chuckles.

"May the force be with us my little Anakin Skywalker."

His mouth forms an O.

"I want to be C3PO or Bobba Fett."

Kate rolls her eyes.

"Seriously C3PO? You want to be a droid?"

"Course I want too. He speaks 600 languages."

"You're incorrigible."

He slightly opens the door and guides.

"May the odds be in our favour Leia Organa."


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

When entering the loft one could very clearly hear someone chanting Phantom of the Opera and as Castle and Kate ultimately entered the loft they could see Martha, dressed in her exquisite nightwear which was a little too colourful as usual, smashing the notes to Think of Me while an older man, dressed in Rick's PJs, accompanied her on the piano.

Kate quickly grasps his left hand and hides a bit behind him to hide her giggle.

Rick just stands there with a slack jaw.

How on earth did this guy get his PJ?

"Mother!" His voice is ennerved.

Martha waves him off with a smile and continues singing until she finally ends her song on a high note and bows to the guy's applause.

Kate can't suppress an applause as well and Rick just looks at her with a confused look.

"Mother what was that? And why is your companion wearing my PJ?"

She waves him off and goes to her companion and sits down on his lap and smiles at the rather handsome, elderly man.

"Oh Richard that was Phantom of the Opera, have i taught you nothing about Broadway?"

She shoots him a disbelieving look.

"And my lovely companion is Martin who is wearing your PJs since he forgot his. I can get you a new pair."

She winks at her son who nods absentmindedly.

Martha smiles at them both.

"So what are you two lovebirds doing out there when Katherine is on bed rest?"

Kate quickly counters that they needed to "get some air".

Martha winks at her.

"So Kiddo's Alexis is still at Paige's and we were wondering if Martin and I should prepare some breakfast. We're starving after last night."

Rick groans loudly. "Mother!"

Martha is laughing again.

"We'll prepare Breakfast then. You two go change and come back here in like 10 minutes alright?"

Kate simply agrees and takes Rick by his left arm and drags him into his bedroom, hiding her own amusement over the situation.

As soon as they enter his bedroom Caste is burying his head in his palms and groans annoyingly.

"God!"

Kate sits down on the bed and simply has to giggle about this.

"Rick come on! They're hilarious and kinda sweet."

He looks up and notices the smile on her face.

"Beckett, it was so embarrassing."

She bites her lower lip trying to hide her smile.

"You, you, you…"

Rick mumbles and moves closer to Kate who is at the same time crawling back into the bed.

Castle can't help but smile at hearing her giggle and quickly snags her around her waist and grabs her towards him while lifting her in the air at the same time.

Kate shrieks out in shock while he simply circles her around and she breaks out in laughter.

"Rick! Let me down."

He simply shakes his head.

"Try saying that without laughing."

She shakes her head in amusement.

"Your mother is hilarious."

She smirks mischievously at him and he presses her now against his chest and snags her legs around his waist and simply looks at this stunning woman in his arms.

Her wavy hair is framing her face in a very arousing and adorably looking way and she is still smirking at him.

"Promise to never mention that ever again."

She grins from ear to ear and he simply puts his head in the crease of her neck and kisses her neck.

Beckett laughs again and quickly screams out:

"Promise kitten!"

She pours at him and he kisses her to stop her.

Both are gladly enjoying the kiss when Martha calls out for them:

"Darling 5 mins! Your noises give off the sign that you're sleeping together; postpone it for after breakfast."

Rick breaks off the kiss in embarrassment and gently puts Kate on the bed.

She can barely hide her suppressed smile and he simply lets himself fall next to her, causing him to lay flat on his back, hiding his face in embarrassment.

Kate is still laughing as she gets up from the bed and drags Rick with her into the kitchen to eat.

"So Martha, how did you and Martin meet?" Kate asks while trying some oatmeal to see if her stomach could take it.

"Thank you for asking. We met at one of my plays. I was playing the crazy granny…"

"And i was playing the crazy neighbour. I was amazed by Martha but didn't have the courage to ask her out. So fate intervened when she tripped over a prop and i caught her."

He is looking lovingly at Martha and Kate is smiling at the both of them.

"I have to say this is cute."

"Thank you Katherine."

Kate nudges RIck with her elbow under the table to get him to say something as well.

"Kate!"

She nudges towards Martha and Martin, encouraging to say something as well.

He rolls his eyes at her.

"Kitten don't play my move on me."

He gives her a quick peck on the lips and turns to Martha and Martin.

"Congratulations guys."

"Thank you darling. So how are you two doing?"

"Good, good. Tomorrow is the last day of bedrest so i can finally go back to work . And Rick will come with me right ?"

"Course."

He takes her hand and looks lovingly at Kate, whose face suddenly goes completely pale.

"Excuse me for a second."

She bolts from the table into the bathroom.

"Kate!" Rick exclaims from his seat but she is already out of his sight.

Martin looks confused.

"Is our food that bad?"

Martha laughs and cups his face.

"Darling she's pregnant. It's probably morning sickness."

"Oh congratulations."

"Thank you. Excuse me, i am going to look after her."

"Go go Darling!" Martha gestures him away with her hands.

"Kate? Are you fine?"

The image he gets when entering the bathroom is far from fine: The Detective is hunched over the toilet being unable to do anything to stop the convulsing and retching of her stomach.

Rick cringes but immediately moves to her and crouches down to hold her hair and smooths a hand down her back to calm his girlfriend's heaving.

A few moments later Kate is dry heaving but tries to stop it by putting a hand over her mouth and immediately trying to get up from her crouching position.

The writer steadies her but Kate's whole plan goes down the drain when the dry heaving starts again and she bolts towards the sink, her legs nearly giving out beneath her.

Castle supports her and puts her, after the dry heaving stopped, on his lap and hands her a cold washcloth.

"Do you feel better?" He looks concerned at her.

She shakes her hair and simply leans onto him.

He gently caresses her hair.

"I am so sorry for this, Kate."

She huffs. "It's both our fault, to be honest."

He smiles and gently kisses her forehead.

"Want to go back to breakfast or bed?"

"Latter. I can't stand the smell of food right now. I am sorry i ruined your breakfast."

She sighs and buries her head deeper into his shoulder.

"Honey it's ok. What do you say i'll bring you to bed, you sleep a bit and i'll join you after breakfast?"

"I'd like that."

He picks her up and carries her over to his bed, gently placing her on it and pulling the comforter over it.

"If you need me, just scream."

She smirks and quickly gives him a peck on the lips before he's exiting his bedroom and she succumbs to sleep she so desperately needed.

 _It's kind of a filler chapter… ik and i'm sorry…. I have so much work atm in college and i barely find time to write :S_

 _But sprinbreak is around the corner so i'll probably post a new chapter next week ! :)_


	14. Chapter 14

Rick had a bad feeling about Kate.

Not that he felt bad about being together with her but he was concerned. It right out shook him to the core to see her, again, so succumbed to morning sickness. It was so strenuous on her body, he could see the evidence: she looked tired most of the time, her skin and hair are still dull and lustless and she's still so fragile and weak. He would have never imagined that he would describe tough as nails Kate Badass Beckett as weak. She was the exact opposite.

He couldn't help but feel that the pregnancy, which she still hadn't really accepted, was kind of bad for Kate. It seemed as it was too much for her body to handle. The writer loved their unborn child so much already but was simply longing to take some of the burden, scratch that, all of the burden of Kate's shoulders. Help her, protect her and see her shine again.

Sighing he went back into the kitchen only to be met with the concerned face of his mother and her companion.

Before his mother could ask anything he supplied an answer to the unasked question which was apparent in Martha's facial expression: "She's sleeping now mother. It's taking such a toll on her and I feel so bad about that. She collapsed in the bathroom again and she's still looking so sickly and frail and I don't know how to help her." His voice was heavy with sorrow and despair and Martha immediately took both his hands in hers as he sat down on the table.

"Kiddo she's 14 weeks along now right?"

Castle nods.

"It will stop now. Should have already. Soon she'll be all healthy again and you can both enjoy the pregnancy. I guess it's also the aftereffects of the crash on her body. She's a little bit weak right now, even i can tell, and she's very thin but Richard soon she'll complain she's too fat when she begins showing. Don't worry kiddo. I bet in two weeks everything will be great."

He simply thanked her and continued eating his breakfast but couldn't help feeling this sense of ill foreboding which was telling him it was not all going to be peachy in two weeks.

Two hours later Rick found himself overrun by Paula and Gina who were both in his kitchen "discussing" the imminent book release of the new Nikki Heat Novel.

"Rick you have been ignoring our calls. We need your feedback and input for the book release party next week." Gina was staring at him and he cringed.

"Well what are your ideas?"

The blonde exhaled loudly and then began rattling down her ideas:

"Ok so we were going to keep it very similar to the former book parties we held for the other two Nikki Heat. So basically the same guests but we're going to invite some of the other authors you poker with and some movie producers to see if we maybe can snatch another Nikki Heat movie. Are you fine with all that?"

He nodded. "Sounds all good. Mother and Alexis are not going to be there. THey're going to be in Europe for the next 4 weeks to celebrate Alexis's graduation and visit Meredith on her movie set."

Paula nodded and wrote everything down.

"Now onto our second agenda: your date. I have a list of a few high class society girls who'd kill to be your "arm candy" as you normally put it. Have a look and tell me who you're going to bring."

"Actually I don't want any of them. I want to bring my girlfriend."

He bit down on his lower lip awaiting the imminent bombardment with questions from Gina and Paula.

"Who would that be? Not that blonde flight attendant you were seen in the paper with?"

"No, no it's Kate. As in Kate Beckett."

Paula shrieked and quickly congratulated him and Gina was dumbstruck.

"Since when? You're together with your muse?"

Paula was smiling.

"Rick this will bring excellent publicity. Writer together with his muse. We'll have the real inspiration for Nikki Heat at the party."

"Wasn't my first thought but yes. Since a few weeks actually."

"Congrats! I knew you two would end up together. The way you were sulking after her when we were in the Hamptons was sign enough."

"Okay so can we release a press statement that you're going to attend the book party with girlfriend and muse Kate Beckett?"

"I guess so, but i need to talk to Kate first. I'll get back to you right after I talked to her."

Paula nodded.

"Now to the third agenda for today: the book tour." GIna started.

Rick cringed again.

Gina saw his facial expression and quickly continued:

"Rick you know it's part of your contract."

"I know. How long this time?"

"Since you haven't done one last year Black Pawn was thinking it should be a cross country tour for 4 weeks."

He gulped.

"4 weeks? Can't we say 3? It's still super long."

"If you agree to a few more signings here in New York we definitely can. It will start in 10 days if that's okay with you."

He nodded.

The blonde smiled at him.

"Perfect, so I'm going to email you all the details concerning the party and the tour and get back to me if you have any more questions."

Castle agreed, glad that this meeting was over.

"Ok Rick get back to me with the press statement asap."

"Will do Paula."

Both women gave their goodbyes and when they were finally out the door the Writer felt utterly exhausted. God these meetings were always very draining, especially when they're so spontaneous and unannounced. After ignoring their calls for a few days Paula and Gina had simply shown up on his doorstep, talking him down due to not answering their calls.

But his mind only wandered to Kate and the book party. Was she fine with accompanying him to the party? To make them public? What would Gates say? And what would she think about the book tour? God he needed answers to these questions.

He strided to his bedroom, wanting to wake up Kate it was 5 pm after all and she had missed lunch and she couldn't really lose more weight in his opinion.

The image he got when he entered the room instantly brought a smile upon his face:

Kate was still asleep but looked so peaceful in his bed. Her hair adorably framing her face and her eyelashes slightly fluttering from time to time. She really was breathtaking in his opinion.

He quietly moved towards her and gently leaned down to kiss her temple in a subtle matter.

"Kate." He crouched down next to the bed and kissed each of her closed eyelids and the tip of her nose, hoping to get a reaction from the Detective's sleeping form.

She gently stirred and opened her eyes.

He instantly smiled and gently carressed her temples with his thumb and gave her a quick kiss on the lips.

She closed her eyes and exhaled before opening them again and have her face breaking out into a smile.

"Hey sleepyhead. You missed 2nd breakfast, lunch, and tea time."

He wiggled his eyebrows.

She snorted in response and again gave him her smile that took his breath away on a usual basis.

The writer stood up and gently sat down onto the bed next to her, as soon as he was settled he placed a still sleepy Kate in the Vee of his legs.

She snuggled into him and gently tilted her head with his right hand to kiss her sensuously.

"You want to eat something?"

She shakes her head. "No not yet. In an hour maybe I feel nauseous right now."

He pulled her closer to him and put his head on her shoulder.

"Sorry. I hate seeing you suffer."

"It's fine Babe. It's for a good cause."

"I know and i love this baby so much but i still hate seeing you suffer because of the morning sickness."

"I'll manage. Besides the doc told us it should subside quite soon now."

He agreed.

They settled into a comfortable silence while Rick was debating about how to address the topic of the book tour and the party.

"Ehm Honey…"

His voice was shaking.

She answered promptly asking what has him all riled up.

He exhaled quickly.

"Paula and Gina were here early to discuss my book release next week and to just say it: I told them you are my girlfriend and would accompany me to the release party and not some bimbo and I kinda agreed to a 3 week long book tour starting in 10 days."

There. He said it and hoped she would understand. Hopefully.

Beckett was silent for a bit before answering:

"Course I'll be your date. But what will Gates think? The book tour kinda sucks. You will be gone for 3 weeks."

Her voice got very silent at the end.

"I know. I don't really want to go but it's part of my job. And I know I will miss 3 weeks of the pregnancy and our first ultrasound appointment and I am sorry."

"It's ok. I get it. I won't go when you're not here deal?"

He shifted her around in his lap so she actually straddled his lap and simply kissed her and held her close.

"THank you for being so supportive."

She simply smiled.

"About going public, I think we should probably talk with Gates first."

"Ok we'll do that. Although Paula asked me to release a press statement that you will be accompanying me as my girlfriend."

He bit his lip.

She quizzed her brow in thought.

"Can we please talk to Gates first? We can go tomorrow morning if you want."

He nodded his head.

She smiled and simply hugged him closer.

They stayed like that for a while until Kate's growling stomach interrupted them.

She blushed crimson and Rick simply laughed and put his hands gently on her lower stomach.

"Sounds to me as if someone is hungry. What do you want Kate? You need to eat up."

She bit her bottom lip and thought about it before coming up with an answer.

"Yogurt and Fruit and some Avocado."

He looked her as if she was joking.

"Aaaannnddd?"

She shook her head.

"That's it."

"Kate you hardly had any breakfast and now lunch; you need to eat up to keep our baby growing."

She got agitated.

"Don't you think I know that Castle? I'm trying to eat something healthy."

"You need to eat more carbs, meat and everything. How about I cook us some Mac and Cheese in addition to your fruit?"

She nodded.

After having finished their meal and now sitting comfortably on the couch watching "Notting Hill", Rick still ogled Kate with worry. She had basically forced the Mac n Cheese down her throat. It seemed as if her appetite had completely disappeared.

She worried him. She was basically constantly on his mind together with Alexis.

His pumpkin was about to arrive any minute now from a weekend at her friend's house in the Hamptons. He had a lot of stuff planned with her for the next weekend and the following week before Martha and her would go to Europe for a bit. We wondered how Kate would react about that. Oh God he had promised Alexis their movie night tonight. Shoot. He quickly detangled himself from Kate and raced to the kitchen to see if their ice cream for the Star Wars Marathon was there. He spotted it in the back of the freezer.

As if on cue Alexis entered the loft, bag in hand.

"Dad!"

He raced towards her and quickly engulfed her in his arms. It was so good to have her back.

"I missed you honey."

"Missed you too dad."

"How was it in the Hamptons? I hope you had fun."

She rolled her eyes at him.

"I did. It was super fun. So you're ready for Star Wars?"

"Course. Kate and I are already on the couch."

"Oh" Her face fell.

Rick bit down on his lip.

"Dad i was hoping for some father daughter bonding time."

She basically whispered into his ear.

"I know you do. Would it be for Kate to stay on the couch? She won't bother us."

"Dad i want to talk to you about other stuff as well. Stuff that should stay between us."

He nodded.

"Get the Ice Cream." He kissed the top of her head and saw Kate getting up from the couch walking towards them.

"Hey Alexis!" The Detective smiled at the Redhead.

"Hey Kate. How are you?"

"Good, good. How were the Hamptons?" Kate grabbed Rick's hand lovingly.

"It was super fun. I'll tell you more tomorrow. I'll get the Ice Cream Dad."

The girl walked away.

Rick snatched Kate around her waist and quickly kissed her.

"I'm glad she had fun."

"Thanks honey. It means a lot to me that you care about her."

"Of course I do."

"Listen, Alexis and I had a Star Wars night planned for tonight…"

She lighted up. "I love Star Wars."

He felt his heart breaking about having to crush her enthusiasm.

"Are we watching the Original Trilogy? Please?"

She smiled at him.

"Ehm Kate honey Alexis wants to have some father daughter time."

He felt his heart breaking as he saw her face fell in disappointment.

"Oh okay." She looked down on her feet.

"I'll go to bed then. Have fun you two." She kissed his forehead and walked with slouched shoulders into the bedroom.

Castle felt so bad about this. He had caused this disappointment in her eyes.

As Kate was passing Alexis she quickly wished her fun for the movie night.

Alexis simply nodded and didn't give a real response nor really acknowledged the Detective.

Rick could see her shoulders slouching further, as if she was carrying the weight of the world.

"Dad come on! The Ice Cream is melting."

He went over to Alexis, wondering if he should go look how Kate was.

"Dad stop it. I want to spend time with you now. You had all week with her." Alexis looked intently at him.

He removed Kate from his thoughts and focused on his daughter.

"I'm sorry honey. Tell me everything about your trip."

As Beckett entered the bedroom she was on the brink of tears.

Apparently Alexis didn't like her and she wasn't invited for their movie night. It stinged. It stinged so badly that Castle hadn't even tried to convince Alexis to let her watch the movies with them.

With a heavy heart she got into bed and fell asleep with tears in her eyes, her hands curled around her stomach wondering if she would be any better with her baby than with Alexis.

 _I hope you liked this update :) As always leave me your reviews to tell me how you found the chapter or have any tips for improvement._

 _Xx serena_


	15. Chapter 15

Richard Castle awakes by hearing someone shut his bathroom door. He sleepily rolls over to his side, expecting to find Kate lying next to him, soft and warm, but he is greeted by a cold empty space instead. Groggily he opens his eyes and pads her side of the bed noticing that it is completely cold. The writer shifts his position and finally sits up when he sees Kate entering the bedroom with all her toiletries in hand and throwing them into her duffel bag. She simply ignores his staggering gaze at her and fetches her clothing as well.

"Kate!" His voice is laced with sleep.

"Why are you packing so early?"

She ignores his glance and gives him one of her Beckett stares.

"You know why. I need to get out of here." Her tone is derogative and snappish.

Rick senses something has gone awry if she is that weird towards him.

He gets out of bed and moves towards her.

"I don't know why. What happened?"

She huffs and looks at him with a flabbergasted expression.

"Are you serious? What happened? I'll tell you what happened. If you guys did not want to have me stay here and I am such an inconvenience to you and not even tolerated for a movie night you could have just told me and bared me the humiliation."

"Kate I'm sorry about yesterday but you know that Alexis always comes first. She's my daughter."

"Of course, I get that but that you did not even try to convince her to let me watch a movie with you guys hurt. If you don't want me here you could have just told me." She looks down on the floor and feels her tears threatening to spill.

Castle moves closer towards her and gently lifts up her face with two of his fingers and feels so bad when he sees the sad expression painted on her face. It's like a punch to the gut.

" I want you here. I'm sorry Alexis hasn't quite warmed up to you yet. Give her time."

"I'm not talking about Alexis but about the fact that you didn't even try to ask her if I could stay. I mean it's a movie for god's sake."

"I'm sorry Kate. I didn't want to hurt her feelings. Everything's changing with you and the baby and it takes a time to adjust, especially for Alexis. She's not used to rapid change and doesn't get why we're together when we didn't even look at each other a few weeks back. She is so hesitant because she doesn't want me to get hurt. "

She gives a self-deprecating smile and shakes her head.

"I'll be out of your guys' hair in no time then."

She quickly zips her duffel bag but he holds her back.

His voice is full of anger now.

"Kate you're acting so immature. Alexis is 18 and got jealous that we spend so much time together and just wanted some alone time together. It's normal."

"All right."

She's lacing her shoes in the other corner of the room when she sees Castle taking out all her stuff from her duffel bag.

"Stop it! If I want to leave I can leave."

She is furious.

"No! You're not being yourself and you're still on bedrest. Think of the baby! You shouldn't be running around and stressing yourself out."

She tries to snag the bag from him

"Let it go."

"No! Calm down first."

"Castle, please. I need to get out of here." Her voice is shaking.

"No, you can't."

She gets a stern look on her face and quickly drops the bag, snatches her purse and phone and bolts out of the room.

He is running after her but she's already close to the door.

"Kate!" He cries after her and she turns around with tears over her face:

"I'm sorry but it's better for Alexis and you. It's going too fast between us as you said so yourself. I'm taking a toll on your family. I'll be out of your hair."

"Kate stop it. You're twisting my words." His voice is laced with bitter anger.

She opens the door but Castle snatches her wrist.

"Stop it, Beckett. Calm down and let us talk about this."

Castle pleads to her.

Shaking her head she tries to free herself.

She frees her arm and shakes her head.

"Bye Castle."

"Kate! Don't you dare leave! Why are you always running?"

"Bye Castle."

She's out the door and Castle just stands there flabbergasted looking out his door and watching her run again, away from him.

Was she ever going to change or were they just kidding themselves?

Sighing the writer closed the door and made his way into the kitchen to cook some breakfast.

When Kate entered her apartment she knew that running from Castle had been wrong.

Running literally never solved anything. You just push your problems away that's it.

Sighing she went into the kitchen to grab a small bite to eat and made her way into her bathroom. Preparing her bath she checked her phone to see if Castle had called but he hadn't. She was quite surprised, to be honest. Maybe he's fed up with calling after her.

Who would blame him… She was a hard person to deal with. Always stuck up, complicated, twisted and dark. Who would want to take his time with her? In her opinion, she was not worth it.

The bath thoroughly relaxed her and thinking about Castle again she decided to call him. After all, she had run away from their problems. Again. It was her time to make up for it now.

Of course, Castle was also at fault for how badly he handled the situation last night but she could forget that for now.

He picked up on the 3rd ring:

"Castle."

"It's me. Do you have time to talk?" Her voice was unsure and the writer quickly picked up on that.

"I have. But I think we should talk in person. Do you agree?"

She hums in agreement.

"Do you want to come over and maybe bring my stuff? I'm in the bathtub right now you can join me if you want."

He chuckled.

"My dear Beckett if you put it that way: I'll be over there asap."

"Bye."

Hanging up Castle smiled to himself. She had taken the first step. That was a good change for once. She was trying to talk and make amends. He knew she was like that: hardly talking about her feelings and always being very closed up and frustrated. It was the Kate he had grown to love. If she was trying to make them work: He could do the same for their relationship.

30 minutes later Kate hears someone knocking on her door and Castle announcing himself.

"Door's open!" She screams and hears Castle immediately entering her place.

When he enters the bathroom with a bag of food and a huge grin on his face, the Detective can't seem but smile back at him.

"Hey, there stud!" She adds in a sultry voice.

Castle chuckles in response.

"I brought bagels since you left before we had a chance to have breakfast."

"Thanks. Haven't eaten yet except for my coffee."

He rolls his eyes at her response.

"I figured that."

She throws him an expectant look that insinuates: Are you getting in the tub with me and feed me bagels or not?

He chuckles, hands the bag over to Kate and quickly strips all of his clothes, joining Kate in the bathtub.

"So,"

He begins while feeding Kate another piece of her cream cheese bagel,

"I'm sorry about yesterday. I did not handle the situation well and I am deeply sorry for having caused you pain because of that. I simply felt so torn between you and Alexis."

She nods in affirmation and swallows down her bagel before answering.

"I get that Rick and I'm sorry about reacting so harsh this morning. I just felt so left out and hurt yesterday as if it will never work between us and we're just kidding ourselves .

The writer immediately shakes his head and hugs her closer to him as if he's afraid that she would just slip away. Again.

"No Kate, I get that you were hurt. Crushing your enthusiasm stabbed my heart. I felt bad about it. And it will work between us. Just imagine us in one year: you, me and our precious little baby." The smile he gives her is infecting she just can't stop but smile as well.

He puts a hand gently on her stomach and she relaxes into him

"I hope so."

He kisses the back of her head gently before answering:

"It will Kate. I'll do everything in my power to make sure that happens."

She turns around and kisses him deeply.

"Kate?"

"Hmm."

She snuggles closer to him on the couch and he puts her gently on his lap and kisses the top of her nose.

"When is the appointment again?"

"It's in 2 hours. Wanna come with me?"

He looks at her with a flabbergasted expression.

"Of course, I will come with you." His voice sounding as if he almost felt insulted that she would assume he wouldn't accompany her.

She smirks and simply kisses him again.

During the appointment:

"Okay, Miss Beckett any health concerns from your side?"

"I,"

She stutters

"I was shot in the heart a few months ago but I've been cleared to go back to work."

The doctor nods and writes everything down.

"That is definitely a concern and you should contact your cardiologist as soon as possible to make an appointment. Pregnancy causes a lot of stress on the body and especially the heart."

Kate nods.

"Mr. Castle? Any health concerns from your side?"

"None that I am aware of."

The doctor caps her pen.

"Okay, so should we check out the baby then and see if we can put you off bedrest?"

"Please," Kate smiles uncomfortably.

"And here is the baby."

Everyone looks in deep concentration at the ultrasound screen and spots the tiny little baby on there.

Kate is simply staring at the screen only now realizing that she actually has a baby in her stomach. She was going to be a mother. It was finally real.

"Kate look at our beautiful baby!" Castle is beaming from ear to ear.

Kate takes his hand in hers and squeezes it hard.

He looks at her with an expression of awe, wonder, and love. Mostly love.

It came over her again: She was going to have a baby with the man that she loved, and who loved her.

It had to work out for them.

It simply had to.


End file.
